I Hate Asking For Help

The Price Of Pride... When I was a kid, we struggled somewhat financially due to my mom's alcoholism. Every time my sister used to ask for something my parents couldn't afford, I saw how much it upset my dad that he couldn't give it to her. So I learned not to ask at all.

I developed quite a complex about it. I couldn't ask anyone for anything, regardless of whether I needed it or not. I prided myself on being self reliant. But pride has never been a good thing. I still find it hard to speak up when I want or need something. Even though I have improved a lot in this regard, i doubt I will ever fully recover from it.

I can't ask for help, even if it will kill me not to. I can't ask for anything at all. This is the price of pride.

RedRubies

I understand much of this. I am loathe to ask for help with anything.

You noted something interesting: you hate to ask for help, but you also find it difficult to do so even if you want to. I get that... I'm glad you mentioned that you were improving. It's good to independent but no man (or woman!) is an island ;-)