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I Hate Days Like These

Days like today make me wonder how much longer I will suffer. I'm not lonely in the least bit--I really enjoy my time alone and don't wish to let people in right now. But what I feel most of the time I feel like most don't/won't understand or don't care and will ridicule me behind my back. I'm detached from everything and nothing feels real. Like I live through someone's eyes only and don't actually feel or even allow myself to feel because something tells me I'll be let down. Or the next bad thing is gonna happen so there's no sense in being happy.

I'd like to get off this roller coaster.
I know it's rough. I've been there. And as obvious as this is, and I'm definitely not making fun, that's really the whole point of being alive, as much as that part stinks, when bad things happen. We [i]have[/i] to take risks, or we'll never get out of that cycle you're talking about. It's ok if something doesn't work. We can always try something else, but to stay stale and indifferent or unfeeling to protect ourselves, just never works. We weren't made to be robots and hide away all time. Sooner or later you have to take a chance at whatever you want to accomplish. You really can't say you're living, if you don't. That's the only way we learn and grow. We're not perfect and we weren't meant to be. Don't waste away, out of fear. Life is too short. Life will happen, whether you go overboard in protecting your feelings or not, so you may as well try to enjoy it. That's why it's called [i]life[/i]...we are meant to live it.
If you're not feeling like letting people in right now, then don't force it. I've been feeling that lately, myself. It doesn't matter if anyone talks. If they are that shallow, you don't need them, anyway. You'll know when you're ready.
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I'd like to join you.
Nobody00 · F
So sad. Hugs

 
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