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I Feel Broken Inside

Let Go

How do you let go of someone you've held close for so long?
Trick question,
They throw you away first,
All they do is say a few words,
Or simply ignore you for months.
One day they come back,
Things go back to what they once were,
Then that person throws what you thought was good between you two away with that week's trash.
You are kicked to the curb after a few words,
So you sit down and try not to drown in your own tears.
There is a pain in your chest that you try your best to forget,
Lastly you walk away with the lie flowing with ease off your lips that you are fine as the hurt inside intensifies.

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HikingMan · 51-55, M

A lot of people wont understand the creative writing parts if these things are posted in open story groups. They'll assume everything to be literal, and you'll spend a lot of time trying to fend off sympathetic replies well after the feelings have left you. Far better to use the poetry groups, I think.

Anyway, I do have a few suggestions.
1- look into your stanzas formation a little bit. It should help with flow and tempo.
2- try to write from outside of the 1st person viewpoint sometimes. It's a great exercise to distance yourself from the piece and should increase your story telling ability within the pieces.

For instance you can replace the I, Me, We words with some She, Her, Them words.

None of this should be taken as a belittlement of the thoughts and feelings contained within your works. Nor is this a comment simply on this 1 writing. I've read all 5 stories, and this is just a small critique as you've asked me to read them.

There's plenty of potential.

Be well
Live happy
Die trying,
Rob