I Love Jokes And Riddles
"NEW" Hallmark Cards Or Insults?...
So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day.<br style="display: none" />Look at the bright side, it's really good pay.<br style="display: none" />
My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat.<br style="display: none" />When I looked at the tire. I noticed your cat.<br style="display: none" />Sorry!
You had your bladder removed and you're on the mend.<br style="display: none" />Here's a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends.<br style="display: none" />
Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy!
Cause when I had mine I got real snippy.<br style="display: none" />
Heard your wife left you. How upset you must be.<br style="display: none" />But don't fret about it. She moved in with me.<br style="display: none" />
You totaled your car. And can't remember why.<br style="display: none" />Could it have been.<br style="display: none" />That whole case of Bud Dry?
Too bad no one likes your wife.<br style="display: none" />
How could two people as beautiful as you.....
have such an ugly baby?
I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.<br style="display: none" />After meeting you, I've changed my mind.<br style="display: none" />
I must admit, you brought Religion in my life.<br style="display: none" />I never believed in Hell until I met you.<br style="display: none" />
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here
to ruin it for me.<br style="display: none" />
If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister.<br style="display: none" />
As I grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me.<br style="display: none" />Like the need for therapy...
Thanks for being a part of my life!!!
I never knew what evil was before this!
Congratulations on your promotion.<br style="display: none" />Before you go, would you like
to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again.<br style="display: none" />
Someday I hope to get married.... but not to you.<br style="display: none" />
Happy Birthday! you look great for your age... almost Lifelike!
When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.<br style="display: none" />Now that we've broke up.... I think it's time you kept your promise.<br style="display: none" />
I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best
friend. So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys.<br style="display: none" />
We have been friends for a very long time... what say we call it
quits.<br style="display: none" />
I'm so miserable without you.... It's like you are still here.<br style="display: none" />
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.<br style="display: none" />Any idea who the father was?
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and
there was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think
of you often.<br style="display: none" />
Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your
birthday... so we're having you put to sleep.<br style="display: none" />
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!
(available only in Alabama and Arkansas)
So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day.<br style="display: none" />Look at the bright side, it's really good pay.<br style="display: none" />
My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat.<br style="display: none" />When I looked at the tire. I noticed your cat.<br style="display: none" />Sorry!
You had your bladder removed and you're on the mend.<br style="display: none" />Here's a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends.<br style="display: none" />
Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy!
Cause when I had mine I got real snippy.<br style="display: none" />
Heard your wife left you. How upset you must be.<br style="display: none" />But don't fret about it. She moved in with me.<br style="display: none" />
You totaled your car. And can't remember why.<br style="display: none" />Could it have been.<br style="display: none" />That whole case of Bud Dry?
Too bad no one likes your wife.<br style="display: none" />
How could two people as beautiful as you.....
have such an ugly baby?
I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.<br style="display: none" />After meeting you, I've changed my mind.<br style="display: none" />
I must admit, you brought Religion in my life.<br style="display: none" />I never believed in Hell until I met you.<br style="display: none" />
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here
to ruin it for me.<br style="display: none" />
If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister.<br style="display: none" />
As I grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me.<br style="display: none" />Like the need for therapy...
Thanks for being a part of my life!!!
I never knew what evil was before this!
Congratulations on your promotion.<br style="display: none" />Before you go, would you like
to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again.<br style="display: none" />
Someday I hope to get married.... but not to you.<br style="display: none" />
Happy Birthday! you look great for your age... almost Lifelike!
When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.<br style="display: none" />Now that we've broke up.... I think it's time you kept your promise.<br style="display: none" />
I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best
friend. So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys.<br style="display: none" />
We have been friends for a very long time... what say we call it
quits.<br style="display: none" />
I'm so miserable without you.... It's like you are still here.<br style="display: none" />
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.<br style="display: none" />Any idea who the father was?
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and
there was only one life jacket.... I'd miss you heaps and think
of you often.<br style="display: none" />
Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your
birthday... so we're having you put to sleep.<br style="display: none" />
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!
(available only in Alabama and Arkansas)
46-50, F