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I Love Jokes And Riddles

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Who from SW do you expect to see on the news someday? And what does their shame based attached headline read?

I wonder if this will be grindrs new Netflix and chill?

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Where does a pyromaniac go to find love? Match. com

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I Love Jokes And Riddles

A priest, an imam and a rabbit walked into a blood bank. The rabbit said: I think I might be a Type O. stolen from Reddit

I Love Jokes And Riddles

A man went to the doctor for his annual check up. When the doc had finished all the tests and all, the guy asked "so, what's the status?" Doc: Do you smoke? Guy: No? Doc. That's a shame. It would've done you good to quit smok...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

In a coffee break of an UN conference, three colleagues presidents share their personal problems: The 1st.: I have three lovers, one of them cheats on me and I don´t know whom. The 2nd.: I have 30 bodyguards, one of them plans to k...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

While driving in a lonely road, I stopped to pick a hitchhiker. Few miles later he asked me: "Aren´t you afraid that I may be a Serial Killer?" I put my best smile and without looking at him, I answered in a whisper: "The probabiliti...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I am hard when you put me in your mouth and soft and wet when you take me out of your mouth. What am I?

I Love Jokes And Riddles

What snack is crunchy and is out of this world? Rocket-Chips!😂

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I´m not a Robot.

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I Love Jokes And Riddles

To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I Don't Want To Go To School! Early one morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school." "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school." "Give me two r...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

A thief said to a man: "Give me your money" 🔫 The man said: I´m the president of this coutry!!" The thief answered: "Then, give me MY money"

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Philosopher Football

I Love Jokes And Riddles

A thief said to me once, in a dark alley: Your money or your life !!! 🔫 I said: I´m recently divorced, bro! What money are you talking about???? We hugged and cryed together.😩😢

I Love Jokes And Riddles

The Mouse Trap. A man participated in an exhibition for new innovative devices. He developed a mouse trap. It was a plain board with two screw half-mounted on two sides on a part of board. And a steel wire tied from one screw to the other. And pie...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Are cereal killers really so dangerous?

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Radio from a police car with the sheriff: - Woman killed his husband with a knife ´cos he walked the floor she was cleaning. - Is she already caught? - No! the floor is still wet!!!

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Another one from Crazy GF

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I Love Jokes And Riddles

With my respects, on Sigmund Freud.

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Yessss Darling!!!!

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Advance of the Playboy Bunnies calendar.

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I Love Jokes And Riddles

What’s a mummy’s favorite kind of music? Rap!!!

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I have an announcement, but first, can you guess this?? My to-do list for the next nine months: . Buy bigger clothes. . Decorate a room. . Find a crib and toys. . Get rounder. . Get a bigger car. . Brainstorm names. . Have a ………………… And can you g...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Two sheep are standing in a field. First sheep-Baa Second sheep-Moo First sheep-what do you mean “moo”? Second sheep-I’m learning a second language.

I Love Jokes And Riddles

A man was walking along the beach, when he found a very old bottle washed ashore. As he was wiping the sand off of it, a genie appeared and granted him one wish. The man thought for a minute, and said, I have family in Australia I haven't seen i...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Electricity Jokes... What do you call a very bad component? A crapacitor. Where do you get working components? From a capacitree. Why did the capacitor date the resistor? He wanted a time-constant relationship. What did the ...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Jesus said,"John come forth,and you shall receive eternal life."Sadly John came fifth,and received a toaster oven.

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Who was the greatest whore in history? Mrs Pac Man,because for 25 cents she swallowed balls until she died.

I Love Jokes And Riddles

While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head. Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautif...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

If the day after tomorrow is three days before Tuesday, do you know which day is today?

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Can you name a sport where winners move backward and losers move forward?

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Hercule Poirot Detective reviewed the information they had on the case so far. A lady named 'monica' was found shot and Hercule already had a list of suspects : rooney , torres , dabid , messi , ronaldo Killer is a fan of Hercule and chal...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

An old man ankit lives alone in a flat. Because of his age , he is not able to move comfortably and hence most of the things used to be delivered to his house. On Friday while delivering the mail , postman feels something suspicious in the flat and ...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

A man is found dead on a Sunday morning. His wife calls the police immediately. The police question the wife and staff. The wife said she was asleep, the cook said he was cooking breakfast, the gardener said she was picking vegetables, the butler sai...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

A fast food restaurant sells chicken in orders of 6, 9, and 20. What is the largest number of pieces of chicken you cannot order from this restaurant?

I Love Jokes And Riddles

When my first is a task to a young girl of spirit, And my second confines her to finish the piece, How hard is her fate! But how great is her merit If by taking my whole she effects her release!

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Knock knock Who's there? Ya Ya Who? Nah I prefer google

I Love Jokes And Riddles

MAGICIAN The story is told about a child who told his teacher that his father is a magician who cuts people in half. When the teacher asked him if he was good at it, the boy answered: "Oh yes! I have two half-brothers and two half-sisters!...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

An Arab was walking through the desert, desperate for water, when he saw something, far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards image, only to find a little old Jewish man sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid ou...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I Love Jokes And Riddles

I Love Jokes And Riddles

What's the capital of Ohio? "O"

I Love Jokes And Riddles

What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and acne? Acne comes on your face after you've turn 13.

I Love Jokes And Riddles

So once my friend kept making jokes about my height, since I'm 4'10. He made some stupid puns and jokes that made me end up throwing his phone across the room. He looked me at with some surprised face then slowly whispered in my ears, ...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

For People Who Love Science... A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, “Wait, Professor! What if the salicylic acids do not acc...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Cell Phone In a Movie?... We went to the movie the other night.<br style="display: none" /> I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier.<br style="display: none" /> ...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Luck Has Its Limitations... A social misfit walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.<br style="display: none" /> "What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.<br style=...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Wedding Present... Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to groom.<br style="display: none" /> They reached the altar and the wai...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

"NEW" Hallmark Cards Or Insults?... So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day.<br style="display: none" />Look at the bright side, it's really good pay.<br style="display:...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

The Boat... Elton John and George Michael were standing on Circular Quay looking out over the harbour.<br style="display: none" /> George pointed to a ferry and asked, "Elton, what's that?&...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Might Be Offensive....lol... Mohammad the Afghan came to Sydney from the Middle East, and he was only here a few months when he became very ill. He went to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help him. Finally, he went...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Why Men Are Never Depressed... WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED: Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselve...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Why Men Snore...Holy SH*t... WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? . . . . . . Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Old Timers...hehehe... A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old timer, time for you to retire."<b...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Larry Is In Room#233... Larry came home late one night and, Kitty, his wife says, "Where in the hell have you been?" Larry replies, "I was out getting a tattoo." "A tattoo?...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Insane Nuts... A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game.<br style="display: none" /> For weeks ...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

FEMALE Compassion... A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs. Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man. The first woman said, "Have you ever had a hug?" Th...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

The Koala... A koala is sitting up a gum tree <b>... </b> smoking a joint <b> </b> when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says, 'Hey Koala ! What are you doing?' The k...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Finally, the Blonde Joke to End All Blonde Jokes.......... A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, an...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

New Milk Campaigne... A man walks into a tee shirt store. There are 3 shirts on display. The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache....

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Accountant... Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, "What is three times seven?&...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Little Johnny... Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane ki...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Decisions... A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband Bill was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs.<br style="display: none" /> Bill was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup ...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Dogs... Three Labrador retrievers -- one brown, one yellow and one black -- were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's office when they struck up a conversation.<br style="display: none" /> The black la...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Grandma - Different From Grandpa... Grandma - different from Grandpa A friend, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family on the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his 7-yea...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Best Friend... A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour. When you open the trunk, see which one is...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

For the Irish... <blockquote style="border-right: blue; padding-right: 0in; border-top: blue; margin-top: 5pt; padding-left: 4pt; margin-bottom: 5pt; padding-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 3.75pt; border-left: blue 1.5pt so...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Ouch... A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit ...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Redneck Girl... Drinking with a Redneck Girl A Mexican, an Arab, and a redneck girl are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, <b>pulls out his pistol, and shoots the gl...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Redneck Girl... Drinking with a Redneck Girl A Mexican, an Arab, and a redneck girl are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, <b>pulls out his pistol, and shoots the gl...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

First Prize... A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a considerable amount of whiskey at a local pub. As he staggered down the road, he felt quite sleepy and decided to take a nap, with his back ...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Blonde... Q: HOW DID THE BLONDE DIE ICE FISHING? A: She was run over by the zambonis machine.

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Irish Gas Station... IRISH GAS STATION > > > > Taking a wee break from the golf course, Tiger Woods drives his > > new Mercedes into an Irish gas station. > > ...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Who Said Men Aren’t Sensitive... A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect and they end up leaving together. They get back to his apartment and she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with swee...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

The Fan...nfl... A first-grade teacher explains to her class that she is an New England Patriots fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Patriots fans too. Not really knowing what a Patriots fan was, but wan...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Why Parents Drink... Why Parents Drink you ask! A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the e...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Mother and Son... Mother & Son A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago . The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, ...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

The Confession... An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren, and last night I had an affair and made love to two 18-year-ol...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Truth In Selling... A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she mentioned her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The bru...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Stolen Car??... An blonde elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Southern First Aide... Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whisky, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a ...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Three Little Pigs, Goofy... Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order. "I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy. "I would like a Coke,&...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

The Mom Test... Mom test > > I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up > something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the > item away from her and I as...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Respect... Two deer hunters were standing on a ridge near a highway in rural Kentucky on the opening day of deer season. They both saw a trophy-class buck meandering towards them. As the one hunter raised his gun to s...

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Texan, Canadian, and Osama... Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a Texan are all working together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give ...

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I Love Jokes And Riddles

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