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I just found out today...the first ex died. 22 years after our divorce.

Going through the process of forgiveness, I decided to enter the various families and ancestors of ALL of the ex's, in my family tree, regardless of how I felt about them at the time, and I was so shocked to discover that one of the bugaboos died.

I remembered far more than I would have thought about his family.

But I feel so strange about it...that I gave all that anger to what he did to me...and he was already gone.

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eli1601 · 70-79, M

If my first wife died before me, I would hear about it, even though I haven't seen her in 15 years because my best friend married her best friend.

What I'm not sure of is if I would go to the funeral.

4meAndyou · F

@eli1601 I have arranged things so that the ex's never hear a word about me, nor I about them. It is better so.

DrWatson · 70-79, M

I think that exercise in forgiveness is something beautiful. It would be so natural to want to just prune the tree rather than expand it.

And I think being angry at someone who has died is ok, but I understand what a shock this must have been!

4meAndyou · F

@DrWatson I HAD pruned all of those trees. I HAD decided not to enter their ancestors into the database...let them all die away, I thought.

But recently, in the process of forgiving those whom I hated the most, I began entering data for the 3rd ex's mother...and it went far into the past. I wanted to see if I could find the Pope to whom they always claimed they were related.

I went as far as possible...and today I decided to enter the first one. He was adopted at birth, so it wasn't easy. His parents were from Canada, and immigrated here...and none of them had entered the database.

Gr8Guy1979 · 41-45, M

That’s a tough one to answer the only that comes to my mind is let go not for them for your self give your self the gift of freedom forgive you will thank your self afterwards

SmartKat · 61-69, F

It’s got to be a weird feeling.

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