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I Have Borderline Personality Disorder

I just cried on the phone to my boyfriend who was on his way over, ended up coming down to meet him in the car and crying more and talking about a lot of things.
This all started because I met a guy (we're in an open relationship) and was thinking about meeting him for coffee. My boyfriend pointed out that this is the same cycle of events I often get into when I find a new person to fixate on or play with.
So now it's up to me telling the guy that I can't talk to him any more because I'm unstable and having to explain in more detail, which I'm not ready for. He also goes to my school, which makes me worry I'll see him on campus. I've been switching up my appearance to avoid him recognizing me.
I feel terrible for dragging my boyfriend into something like this again, because he always has to deal with these things and we have such an amazing relationship that I feel like I shouldn't get bored like I do, but I get bored no matter what I'm doing.

/sigh
Serenitree · F
Perhaps you should try DBT, and then you could think of something that might keep you interested, when you get bored, instead of playing with people's emotions.

Please do get some therapy. My daughter has borderline personality disorder and she didn't get help until a few years ago. She's 51 now and she just keeps getting worse. I feel if she had help 35 years ago,,she might not be in the frame of mind she is now suffering.

1:50 am
coyote · 26-30, F
Good suggestion! I've actually done DBT before and had some small but helpful results from it. I've been in therapy since I was very young and am currently seeing someone regularly (even when I'm totally stable). Sometimes I just have to wait it out when I get big drops.
Serenitree · F
@coyote: oh dear. I really hope you can get stabilized. My daughter is the unhappiest person I know. And I feel guilty, because I believe that if I had been a better mother, she wouldn't have this problem now.

1:59 am
SW-User
Unstable how?
coyote · 26-30, F
I've been having some crazy lows recently and getting especially impulsive/volatile. Not a good time to start something new with someone I don't know.
SW-User
Ah right. Hope you feel better soon :)
coyote · 26-30, F
@MrMagic: Thanks! :)

 
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