I Push People Away

If you had great past
and nobody ever managed to hurt you badly -
you would be different today .
You'd be walking around and nurturing everybody
and smiling and forgiving anyone who tries to hurt you ;

Your past was not pink , obviously ;

- when we get hurt over and over and over again , and over again
and over and over and over again
we are walking around burned ... and brused ... and broken ...

we are burned and sore and still somehow managing to not create problems for others ,
doing our best not to feel the bleeding wunds ...

Yet , only one wrong touch will activate the entire pain .

it is like somebody only slightly touches your totally burned skin ,
it hurts like hell .

Our entire energy jumps to protect us from YET ANOTHER HURT as soon as a person
makes the slightest mistake ,
we are so burned , we can not afford another wund man ,
it is a matter of life and death , we jump on the one who dared hurt us IN ANY way , right then ,
we over - react , vervally abuse - trying to protect ourselves and our life
with all that we have

words maybe your weapon of choice

If someone pushed me away like that, no matter how much I loved them, I'd do what they said and go away. It's not a matter of running away, it's a matter of having some self respect and dignity. I think it's a foolish test to push someone away just to see if they're gonna take your abuse and then come back and beg and plead for you to keep them in their life. And if they did, how could you even respect them anyway? Resentment would just abound.

But hey, I always end up alone with my little philosophy so what do I know :)

I let people in easily but it's an egg shell of an experience. The slightest crack and my defense kicks in and pushes as hard as it can back out. I love breaking thru that barrier with someone tho and I have zero malicious intent. I'm very sensitive & kind to other's intimate personalities and I'd rather know someone at their core than superficially.

I've somewhat done that in the past, explained a little about how I work, but on the flip side, it's almost like a test of who won't run lol or who is true in their intent.

i have read this again, it is like i wrote it, only im not as ready to admit i do this because then its a real problem.

have you ever tried talking to ur girl that u do that and not to give up on u if that ever starts to happen?

lol @ silent! look on the bright side, you are just weeding thru those that just aren't worthy of your love ;)

I do this if I feel a person is getting too close to me.

i can relate but cannot understand why i do this...

it is an emotional wound
that you have inside