I Push People Away

Painfully Ironic... I have a really bad habit of pushing people away in my life with an ungodly intent. I am good at it becuase I can use words to cause destruction in the most henious way possible. I don't do it usually unless I've been hurt, but if I have, watch out as there's no limit to my wrath sometimes. I always regret it a day or two later and feel really bad about it, but it's always too late to fix it. It's a defense mechanism I learned when I was growing up. I can rarely fight it away as it comes out so easy and happens so fast. And because if it, I have no one left in my life. Deep down inside I'm thinking 'get away, get out of my life so you cannot hurt or cause harm anymore' and I succeed in that. The most painful part and most ironic is it's always someone I truly love.

Fallflower

If someone pushed me away like that, no matter how much I loved them, I'd do what they said and go away. It's not a matter of running away, it's a matter of having some self respect and dignity. I think it's a foolish test to push someone away just to see if they're gonna take your abuse and then come back and beg and plead for you to keep them in their life. And if they did, how could you even respect them anyway? Resentment would just abound.

But hey, I always end up alone with my little philosophy so what do I know :)