I Want a Girlfriend

I am very unlucky in matters of love (or lust)

My father always told me, "if I fell into a barrel of nipples I would climb out sucking my thumb..." Oddly apt!

@ExtremeNext - Well, that confirms something I have suspected for a long time... It's the size of a guy's wallet that's important :p

@Luna - I state again, there is NO age requirement... And country of origin can be discussed at the first interview :p

@Quest - Now I don't think I have every thought that of you x

@Carissimi - Damn it! Good thinking... Lucky I've had zero real interest then! That could have been embarassing! :p

@Thisisme - Why would you think that? I don't discriminate because of age, colour, or creed...

I am an equal opportunities potential partner :D

I have tried nice (disaster), enigmatic, honest, friendly, eccentric, brooding, aloof... etc etc etc

Nothing works. I am now reduced to begging... lol :p

Maybe they are trying to gather their credentials and recalling their experience so they can come up with something for you lol ...

You women... All you want me for is my great sense of humour, amazing personality, and massive intellect!

Yes, I took my turns :p

I demand to know what you earn ? Anything under 100,000 a year, keep looking :)

@Amazing - At least one applicant would have been nice... lol

I'd apply Quiz but only my wrists are young enough for you!!!

Can't remember. I was a teenager maybe. I have alzheimers remember 😜

@Starry - Rough?? You could use it as sandpaper!

Wow, those pictures must be getting around?! :o

Lol wishing the best for you....

@ Quiz haha 🤐

Only if you are rude but if you are polite and you speak from your heart then it could turn to something beautiful....you need to be bold and find your inspiration...I know you have a lot to offer to someone

By that point I will probably be using a walking frame and suffer from impotence and a weak bladder. Maybe it's just not my destiny. This is not a new thing for me... I've spent most of my life single.

@Carissimi - The winner?? lol.... hardly a winner :p

Well, at this rate the first person to apply gets the position, whichever position they prefer ;)

I have narrowed it down to 'someone else', apart from that I am pretty laid back regarding the selection process

I was considering rohypnol, kidnapping, and the hope of Stockholm Syndrome kicking in pretty quickly... Bad plan?

You never had a relationship before until now you are thinking to be attach or hitch to someone....like a longing to love and be loved

☹️

No... That I have a lot to offer... lol 😉

It might happen. But just in case it doesn't I will book my place at that monastery x.

Great Hehe..those things are all wonderful attributes...and I know you have a few more hidden away.

Hey Quiz..I know you're a good catch...if anyone comes to mind I will be sure to send their resume and pic along ;)

No, I don't go out. I would never dream of approaching anyone in a public place though. It would be impolite...

@Enchanted - Oh I gave up already... I have decided to drink tea laced with bromide and go join a monastery :'(

@Quest - I thought I was kinda pulling off the Kojak/Dr Evil look... I think all that rubbing wore it away tbh :(

Learn to make puppy eyes from your dog instead of evil looks. You know women melt over those puppy eyes 😀

@WomansButt - You know more than me then... Not often I say that either, lol :p

@Amazing - If I wait much longer I am not going to be capable of er... you know...

So, I apply to be my own partner... Isn't that kinda what I am doing already? :o

Lol then you should do an interview because some might just be good on paper ...

You would be amazed how few women seems to have positions open (no pun intended)

There's more women than men so you have to find a way to meet your match

Not a good idea lol but when u find her your match role playing that is fun...

Lol be positive it will happen do u ever go out like places to meet people not just SW

Been there... Tried that!

Oh well, back to drawing eyes and lipstick on my hand again! Sigh...

I've not had what I would deem to be 'proper' long term relationships.

I like the age test.
Not many people under 25 know what handwriting is.

Good luck quiz.

@Quest - I just see a lot of excuses as to why people cannot apply! lol :p

Quiz, you'll never get a girlfriend thinking that way.

@ExtremeNext - Even when a guy 'knows what he is doing?' lol :p

A popular guy like you alone? tsk tsk...this girl can't figure it out?:)

It strikes me, it's doesn't seem to matter what I think...

Of course it does. You are the one doing the hiring. It's your show.

You know, you have a good sense of humor and dry wit. Try that.

Did you write what you're looking for?