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Husband, attorney - Would Rather do Uber than start own company or look for another job?

My husband is an attorney.. has been for 15 years.. a year ago we had a baby, 6 months after that, he was fired from his job of 10 years for being “unreliable”. He has spent the last 8 months not looking for a job, but using his retirement to go out to eat and drink alcohol, not even ONCE wanting to put together his resume. I’ve pulled out the laptop, finally at the 6th month unemployed mark and was like I“hey let’s put together your resume. We started on it, got 2 sentences in and he started crying - just super depressed. I’m so confused because I’ve had friends offer to give him work - tried to encourage him to do consulting, start his own business, offer to help etc.. and every time those things come up - he just shuts down, wants nothing to do with it. Makes up excuses like I don’t practice that area of law..that’s too difficult to do type thing.. it’s crazy. He has an MBA and a law degree.. and now all he wants to do is start Uber driving. He doesn’t want to look for another job. He’s blown through literally 40k in savings just doing nothing for 8 months. I can not wrap my brain around why he has no drive. I’ve asked.. he just nods and says okay, that’s a good idea but never will actually try. I ask why.. again he comes in with all the weird excuses.. it’s a horribl weird circle and I’m really starting to question if he’s just lazy, depressed - makes poor decisions. Never seen anything like it in my life. He’s the best dad, I wouldn’t ever leave him but I’m bewildered at this point. Anyone have any ideas why this is or what to do? Can anyone relate ?

And by the the way I want to add, nothing wrong with Uber - but with so much education and experience I don’t know why he wouldn’t just try to freelance/ look for something that pays better/good hours/benefits and is safer
QuixoticSoul · 41-45, M
Depression can absolutely destroy people. He needs an intervention.
curiosi · 61-69, F
Sometimes we need to seriously crash and burn before we get up. A phoenix rising from the ashes. Recently I have noticed a lot of people going through weird phases (myself included). While different for everyone it seems they are going through a transformation.
Spitbak · 56-60, M
🤔Could be depressed from losing his job!Whatever it is,let him do the Uber thing and he'll figure it out from there!At least he'll be doing SOMETHING!😉
Maybe he just needs a break and to regroup...he does sound pretty depressed. Let him make money driving for a bit and he'll sort it out
marsbar · F
His confidence must have plummeted after getting fired. Now he’s questioning whether or not he’s cut out to be a lawyer.

Maybe have him uber for a bit. At least he’ll be earning something, but have him create a short term goal. For example, he’ll try ubering for a mth, & then reassess his career goals after that. Being an uber driver doesn’t require being as thorough or analytical as a lawyer. Maybe his mind needs a break from that still even though he’s had an 8 mth break already.
He sounds extremely depressed and disenchanted with his career and practice.
Maybe you can encourage him to look for alternatives where his knowledge is useful but doesn't have the stress of legal practice.

Driving Uber in the meantime is not bad , hopefully you have a job in order to keep yourselves afloat until he figures out what to do.
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KaiserSolze · 46-50, F
@Kingfish28 that was my first thought but I'm gonna reply something else too.
KaiserSolze · 46-50, F
He worked the same job for 10 years. That says some kind of commitment to work. Someone suddenly becoming purely lazy sounds unlikely. If he was lazy and unreliable wouldn't they have sacked him sooner?

He's not used to looking for a job because he's been in the same job for 10years. Maybe it's too overwhelming for him. Also it could be depression at loosing the job.

It seems to me that more info is needed. Ask the previous employer yourself for what happened? Ask him what's holding him back, but I'm guessing you've done that.

Depression over being unemployed and anxiety about more rejection if he doesn't get hired after interviews sounds most likely other than it being something else going on.
SW-User
I can relate. It sounds like depression or ADD or both. Hopefully he can take some steps towards getting better. It must be hard on the relationship too when you keep trying to help and he's not able to engage.
TexChik · F
He is depressed but he has to haul his ass into the psychiatrist to get help . It happens ... but sitting on it only makes it worse . So sorry that’s happened
SW-User
He can't make a living with uber.... not gonna happen..

He needs to see a therapist, something isn't right, get him to a professional asap..
SW-User
He's in depression from losing a job after 10 years.
Butterflykisses24 · 51-55, F
He sounds depressed.My husband is out of work and depressed but trying his damnedest to find a job.Every day applying.
walabby · 61-69, M
He obviously is unreliable. You just have to do the best that you can... 😥
uncalled4 · 56-60, M
He should definitely be in therapy. But, some people burn out on their careers, no matter how qualified they are.
marsbar · F
@uncalled4 I agree. Therapy may do him good. But it’ll be expensive with no insurance.
Kick his ass out....

 
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