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Why am I still mean to my ex?
Even after I've already forgiven him? Really, when I'm alone I wish him all the best, no hard feelings, but when he's around me I find myself super cold and a bit unkind. It's been a year since we broke up.
SW User
+ 6 35 replies 74 views Oct 29, 2016 |
Edited: 3 yrs ago
NigelDoes · 51-55, M
Sounds like you haven't completely forgiven him.
NigelDoes · 51-55, M
What's yours?
SW User
Question vs question?
NigelDoes · 51-55, M
I might have to get back to you on that one. It's a good question.
MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M
🤔 If you don't know why.. then we surely don't know why
SW User
Some people come up with really good answers that help me understand myself
all women are like this. Women, like elephants..NEVER forget..
you simply aren't over the hurt yet. you are mentally - just not emotionally
SW User
Makes sense
and by the way - we all think you're way too good for him!
SW User
haha, you don't know us, but thanks
TheCaterpillar · 41-45, F
Maybe that's just your Armour to protect yourself from letting him get too close to you again.
SW User
You could be right here
Coppercoil · M
Sometimes we do and say things that aren't true. Doesn't sound like you have truly forgiven him. Some times there is no way to move on. Sometimes we have to let go completely. Maybe you just can't have him on your life.
SW User
Hmm, you still have a long road to make. Even then you won't probably emotionally detach. But it sounds like you broke up because he cheated on you, or something.
just because you've forgiven him doesn't mean that you have to like him..
forgiveness is about letting go..
it's for your benefit and doesn't mean that you have to accept him into your life.
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
Forgiven or not, maybe you need some kind of defense to keep you from getting friendly with him and then drifting back into a continuance of the misery you've suffered. Maybe you could ease up on the meanness but a little coldness might be a good protective ploy. A year is not really that long.
SW User
We have friends in common. Actually we were friends before dating each other. I don't want him to affect me.
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
@MissingNotes: Maybe you'll be friends again someday but obviously not now. Sometimes it takes a few years. You can avoid him if you really want to. Make a point of it. If you want to go to a large social gathering, get a date to go with you and pay attention to him. You can even hire a guy from a dating or escort service if you have to. If It's a smaller gathering, just don't attend if you know he'll be there. You can also avoid him by arriving very early and then pleading another appointment and leaving when he arrives. Or having a friend call you to let you know when he leaves.

I know you'd like to be indifferent to him but you're not. So until you really, genuinely feel and can act that way, just don't see him. If you run into him unexpectedly, just be polite, only polite, and then leave as soon as you can.
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
@MissingNotes: I'd guess he doesn't mind because your attitude toward him shows him you still care. He assumes you'll run out of steam one day and then he can court you again and win you back. As long as you treat him like this, he will know you secretly have feelings for him. If you can't manage to show quiet, polite, but non- affectionate behavior around him and you really, really don't ever want him back, then avoid him.
popmol · 22-25, M
cause you can't show weakness!!!
SW User
Kindness is weakness?

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