I Thought Of You Today

this daily repetitiveness is numbing my mind.
i don't feel any beauty,
i don't even pause to see the beauty around me.

i have a sudden longing to go and sit at that lake, hundreds of miles away.
the memories of those few quiet evenings together are haunting.
i miss you,
but more than that i miss how i felt when i was with you,
i miss the me that i was.
the beauty, the innocence is lost somewhere in this cruelty of everyday life.
it feels like i grew out of that mould of who i was then,
and i will grow out of this current mould of who i am now,
i will keep changing
and i don't mind the change,
i just want the beauty and the innocence to last till the last breath.

so when i can't feel it, when i feel numb,
i turn to you and your memories,
to those few glimpses of beauty and innocence,
i worship you, i place you on that high pedestal, higher than god,
and even though it doesn't last much
i drown in those moments for a while
in the beauty and innocence,
to go into the repetitiveness of daily life again.