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I Thought Of You Today

Love myself more than I love you.

I did it! I am so proud of myself.

I have learned that if I want something i should just let it go and believe what comes will come. I did that. I felt a shift in one thing and what will be the results of it, I do not know but the bigger thing is that I was able to cut someone that I love with all my heart out of my life. It's just a day but that was the most difficult one. I had so much support and love from my friends. I texted them when he would text me. I had another friend call me and speak to me for 3 hours. I am truly blessed and loved.

Today was 24 hours and I was still doing well. Just a tad shaky but he got sneaky and called my work. He said, "at least I know you are alive!" and then hung up. I actually just sat and processed. My boss was sitting by me and he said, "who was that?" I said I don't know. Then it hit me who it was. I sat looking at my keyboard and I said. "oh, oh." I am not totally sure what my boss said but I just told him the truth of who it was and what i was doing. He was shocked. He said oh, I'm sorry.

I decided to return the call back. I went out side and made the call.

I am so proud because I kept calm, cool and collected. I said "What do you want from me? I said I have made the decision to make "me more important" and I do not need you to decide what you want to do. I am choosing to leave and live my life alone? I refuse to be with someone that can't see the value I bring into their lives. I love you and all your children as if they are my own but I will make my own decisions and completely cut you all out of my life. I will love myself more in this." I have been slowly dying and I refuse to let it continue. He said everything was fine until yesterday. I said for you but not for me. You are slowly killing me and I can't let that happen. If you can't scream to the world how proud you are to have me by your side then I do not need to be by your side. I love unconditionally and I want the same back.
Tantrapleasure · 51-55, M
Well done. So proud of you!!
[@2474,Tantrapleasure] Thank you. bittersweet
starrybunny · 26-30, F
I did something like this last night. Except he just [b]had[/b] to fuckin go.
starrybunny · 26-30, F
[@477791,LoveYouLoveMe] Oh nah Don't be sorry. I never felt better. I hope you can get through what you're going through right now.
[@28049,starrybunny] thank you. I will...I appreciate your well wishes
starrybunny · 26-30, F
[@477791,LoveYouLoveMe] Yup you'll be better soon ^^
ozgirl512 · 26-30, F
If you don't love you ....
ozgirl512 · 26-30, F
[@477791,LoveYouLoveMe] all you can do is show him the why... He may not be ready yet
[@516864,ozgirl512] thank you. Believe me I've done all the showing that I could do. Thanks so much for reading and for your comment. Reminds me to have compassion but not too loose myself.
ozgirl512 · 26-30, F
[@477791,LoveYouLoveMe] I think that sums it up nicely... If he's not ready then he's not ready... Sometimes it's the right person but the wrong time
xRedx · M
Wow, how you reacted to that was so composed. I applaud you for that

 
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