I Love Dirty, Rude and Offensive Jokes
So a man stops at a bar one night after work. He get so drunk, he throws up all over himself.
He looks at the bartender and says," oh my god, my wife is going to kill me. She just had this suit cleaned."
The bartender says, " you got $20?"
"yes" replies the gentlemen.
"go home and tell your wife, the drunk next to you threw up on you and gave you the $20 bucks to have your suit cleaned" the bartender invoked.
The man leaves and arrives home to his wife in utter disgust at his appearance and shrieking, " OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE NOW!?"
the husband gently replies, " dear, it wasn't me. I was having one pleasant drink, and this wasted drunk next to me throws up all over me. The guy felt so bad, he gave me $20 to fix his mistake." The man hands his wife the money, and begins to walk away.
"but there is $40 here?" The wife inquiries.
The man turns, "oh, he shit my pants too."
He looks at the bartender and says," oh my god, my wife is going to kill me. She just had this suit cleaned."
The bartender says, " you got $20?"
"yes" replies the gentlemen.
"go home and tell your wife, the drunk next to you threw up on you and gave you the $20 bucks to have your suit cleaned" the bartender invoked.
The man leaves and arrives home to his wife in utter disgust at his appearance and shrieking, " OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE NOW!?"
the husband gently replies, " dear, it wasn't me. I was having one pleasant drink, and this wasted drunk next to me throws up all over me. The guy felt so bad, he gave me $20 to fix his mistake." The man hands his wife the money, and begins to walk away.
"but there is $40 here?" The wife inquiries.
The man turns, "oh, he shit my pants too."
31-35, M
