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I Have A Random Thought

I've never been one to trust people. I still have difficulty. Once I let you in, I sometimes open up too much. This will make you vulnerable to hateful users. Unfortunately I had that issue happen recently. It just confirms my stand-off-ish-ness as a positive quality.

My husband always said that hurt people, hurt people. Lately I've been really hurting so I'm sure I've hurt a few people. But to be hurt by someone for no other reason than them wanting to rain hurts upon me? Who does that?!?

For that reason, at least on here... you won't see many, if any, people in my circle. I'm not ready to let anyone in at the moment.

I'm on SW to openly share my struggles w/ my husband's illness and the changes that are happening in my life as a result. Cancer tears families up folks... it isn't pretty. I never knew this before. Now that I'm going through it I see it is much more than just having a sick loved one. My life has been overhauled and I feel raw and hurting all the time.

But I am fighting. Fighting for my husband, my family, and yes... when I think of it I'm fighting for myself. The last one has become hard lately and I'm ashamed that I have struggles.

I'm thankful for the TRUE friends and supporters that lift my husband up and heap strength upon me. Your prayers are genuinely felt.

Am I perfect? Heck no! Most of you all know me as ''raregem'' and you know I have a naughty nature that is mischievous and fun. That person doesn't seem to be around though and I hope you can stomach me as ''realrare''.

I feel like I'm a two-sided coin. Not two-faced.... but I can focus on what is important and put aside the self-centeredness of a subbie girl that reached out for strength and dominance in ALL the wrong places. Not everyone that says they are there for you really are.

I'm grateful and full of praise for the life God has given me and my family. I'm thankful for real people on here. I'm not interested in players that cast out nets hoping for a bite. I'm not anyone's snack of the day. (thank you very much!)

Thank you for reading,

~realraregem… accept no substitutes!
You have always been very real and a joy.
I always consider it a privilege to count you as a friend!
realrare · 51-55, F
@SomeLikeItHot Thank you, same here!
Maybe you're thinking too much?
realrare · 51-55, F
@marcusaurelius Wouldn’t be the first time!!! 😂

 
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