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I live at home with mom and dad in my late 20s

I'm broadcasting because most people who ask or bring up that fact think that I (and other adults who live at home) are mooches, living off their parents.

It is far from the truth in my case.
I've bought all the groceries for the household for years, to the tune of 200+ a month.

I buy toiletries/household items i.e toilet paper, paper towels, dish soap, bath soap, laundry detergent.$30+ a month

I pay the internet bill 70 bucks a month. I pay for tv (Netflix and Philo) 30 a month.

All in addition to my own bills, car payment, car insurance, gas, phone bill,personal items.

I know that a lot of folks at home pay rent to their parents for living at home. I don't, I go out and buy all of the above and that is my contribution.

Oh also, we got the house remodeled recently, new floors, cabinets, door etc.

I have thought about this alot. I used to feel bad about still being at home at 28, but the fact is, I help out a great deal.

My parents DO NOT give me money. Both can attest that they haven't had to help me financially since 18.

I think leaving the nest early is the reason a lot of people are poor now. They didn't save enough money and weren't prepared for high rent and cost of living.

Plenty of people in other countries live at home well into their 20s and adult lives.
It only seems to be certain people groups/cultures who say that a person MUST move out at 18.

People must not realize that a lot more can be done when people live together, build together and save.

I have also thought about the fact that some people who have negative things to say about my living situation could be jealous of:

1.The fact that I have good enough relationships with BOTH of my parents to still be living with them at 28

2. The fact that I get to save a ton of money by not having to spend it on rent

3. The fact that I have very little debt (owe 3200 on my car)

That's all, just a little rant
SW-User
I always found the American practice of making the kids leave at 18 and looking down on those who don’t very weird, esp bc in Asia it’s very normal for even the children with the best jobs to live with their parents, but I guess it’s because America is very individualistic
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@iamnikki Get a storage shed so the tiny house doesn’t get overfilled. You can cook outside on a grill or whatever too, have a folding table & some chairs outdoors. Low utilities because it doesn’t take much to cool or heat a tiny home, I’d consider a small wood stove if I had one.
iamnikki · 31-35, F
@cherokeepatti yea that's a good idea. I don' tthink I'll do it though. I'd rather keep saving and own something one day
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@iamnikki well this is if it was just me, I have too much stuff right now for a tiny house but if I was alone & didn’t want to heat and maintain this house I’d consider it. I would rather have a little land to grow things & spend outdoors than a big house to maintain.
FaeLuna · 31-35, F
I lived with my dad for a few years after college in order to save up for getting out on my own. I did a bulk of the chores and maintenance tasks around the house, like cooking, cleaning, yardwork, and whatever else needed to be done. It gave me a bunch of life skills and a chance to build up emergency funds in case something bad happened.

I'm really glad I did, because there's no way I would have been able to afford rent and stuff right out of school. Being out on your own is great and all, but if you lose it all if one unfortunate setback happens, it's not really freedom. Better to live at home and build up a safety net than risk it all alone.
iamnikki · 31-35, F
@FaeLuna yup!
FaeLuna · 31-35, F
@cherokeepatti I saw way too many shows as a kid where the main character gets in trouble with a credit card, so I learned pretty early what the dangers were. To this day, I've always paid off the balance in full, and have never been charged interest. It just seems stupid to me to do otherwise.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@FaeLuna I have used one to buy a pair of shoes on sale at Kohl’s and get a discount with it, but I had the money already to pay. So no interest. I don’t like paying a penny of interest on anything.
Neoerectus · M
Extended families were once the norm in US.
So were boarding houses. Both helped people have community and stay out of debt.

The "silo" approach to life is destructive to individuals and society.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@Neoerectus boarding houses were outlawed in many city by city councils. Am pretty sure some pockets got filled with $ in those cities. They were an affordable choice for working singles. And this is a huge factor in homelessness.
JupiterDreams · 31-35
Anyone who judges you for that is full of shiet imo. It's not easy to rent/own your own place anymore...
iamnikki · 31-35, F
@JupiterDreams I mean I [i]can[/i] afford rent, but I don't see the point in shelling out extra cash. I'd rather keep saying and invest.
Rambler · M
Makes sense to me. My son, who is about your age, lives with me. He works hard at trying to establish his future career and contributes a lot of hard work around the house. For us, it makes sense right now. So don't listen to people who don't know the situation.
iamnikki · 31-35, F
@Rambler yea, like I said, some could be jealous since I'm not making the same 'mistakes' they made and racking up a bunch of debt. My dad drilled into my head since I was a kid to save money.
Rambler · M
@iamnikki smart strategy that will pay off
curiosi · 61-69, F
I knew of someone exactly like you. She was a nurse that worked a lot of hours and really saw no need to have a place of her own. Her parent appreciated the help which was a lot like yourself and she told herself when the time comes that they are no longer here she will have spent much time with them and made things easier for them.
SW-User
I am back at home because my rent is very high and since I cannot go back to work at the university any time soon (due to the virus) and my lease is up in August, I see no reason to continue to pay (I have a sub-letter living in my room for the rest of the summer). My parents were happy to welcome me back. I will leave when my job comes back in person (the plan currently is for it to be entirely online in the fall), but given how uncertain everything is right now, I have no idea when that will be. There shouldn't be so much shame in living at home if you are doing it for practical reasons and are making an effort.
iamnikki · 31-35, F
@SW-User What you are doing is practical as well. No since in getting into another lease when finances are iffy. What area do you live?
SW-User
@iamnikki San Francisco Bay Area, one of the most expensive places to live in the world.
iamnikki · 31-35, F
@SW-User yes It is, so I've heard
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
well you aren’t a moocher. A moocher is someone who feels entitled to get free rent & other things without contributing anything. When someone says that a grown child is still living at home in a negative way it generally means that the individual they are talking about is freeloading. And I have known some to do that without even contributing any kind of help at home. If you and your family get along just fine then good for you.
iamnikki · 31-35, F
@cherokeepatti so you grew up with your aunt and uncle?
That's another side to the story as well. Lot of people move in with boyfriends/girlfriends, and all of a sudden I'm weird because I didn't do that.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@iamnikki My father murdered my mother when I was 12
iamnikki · 31-35, F
@cherokeepatti 😧 oh my goodness! Im so sorry. That must have been so difficult
SW-User
Ya, I used to pay my mother for my room but that was way back. I was 19. So, what . Half of the world lives with parents. I don't see a problem. Makes a family closer or tighter. If my son chose to live with me, I would only be happy lol
SW-User
I took over the mortgage on my house when I started teaching, at 25. My parents dip between here and my sister's. I couldnt have afforded a deposit on my own. My wages cover the bills and half a month's worth of food shopping. Youre doing great. Live where you need to. Ain't nobodies business.
iamnikki · 31-35, F
@SW-User TY, I am trying
Dominus · 31-35, M
That is entirely between you and your family. You have no need to justify it to anyone. From my perspective as long as you aren't taking advantage of them or they of you then it is perfectly fine.
iamnikki · 31-35, F
Dominus · 31-35, M
@iamnikki 🙂 YW
Been there and I can say for certain that the people that looked down did so because of jealousy. Aparently having a family and financial security wasn't good enough for them. They wanted to live with their parents and be called a loser.
I mean seriously you are jealous of someone that has a mental disorder bad enough that they get delayed in life over having a wife and kids and community of people that love you. The job you always wanted. And financial independence. Yet you would rather give that up so you can be made fun of. Rightttt. Grass sure looks green from that side.
iamnikki · 31-35, F
@canusernamebemyusername I'm not sure what you are saying here.🤔
Heartlander · 80-89, M
My mom's family held together for their entire lives.

My mom was from a large family, 9 kids, plus an uncle and aunt who lived with them in the same household. That adds up to a household of 13.

Though she and most of her brothers and sisters grew up, married and moved away, 3 just stayed and from all appearances lived very happy lives. They had a huge house. huge property with garden, pasture, barn, chicken coups, etc. About 5 acres worth and everyone had their turf. One uncle worked seasonally and took care of the place, a couple worked as school teachers. As a kid I spent weeks there at times and it was like a little paradise.
SW-User
Nobody's bussiness really.

 
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