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Found out he’s messaging other women

I’ve made a couple of posts about how I’m struggling with my relationship, however it somehow got even worse tonight after I caught him messaging other women and he absolutely flipped out on me and called my disgusting for getting upset and crying over it, he made me feel like dirt for wanting a monogamous relationship with him like he promised me when we first got together.
I’m trapped and have no idea how to get out.
I can’t live like this, he makes me feel so horrible about myself, yet I still love him and want him, it’s tearing me apart.

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ViciDraco · 41-45, M

Sounds like you either need to embrace that he is going to be seeing other women or cut things off here and find someone else who wants the style of relationship you are seeking.

I'd lean towards cutting out. A polyamorous person who loves and cares about their partner is going to be willing to spend the time to understand and communicate with them. This is a guy who neglects you until he wants something and is running around behind your back. That makes him trash. I can't make you take the garbage to the curb, but your home is going to stink if you don't.