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Found out he’s messaging other women

I’ve made a couple of posts about how I’m struggling with my relationship, however it somehow got even worse tonight after I caught him messaging other women and he absolutely flipped out on me and called my disgusting for getting upset and crying over it, he made me feel like dirt for wanting a monogamous relationship with him like he promised me when we first got together.
I’m trapped and have no idea how to get out.
I can’t live like this, he makes me feel so horrible about myself, yet I still love him and want him, it’s tearing me apart.

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BadLion · 51-55, M

Talk to him straight forward about your feelings.

If you can't or don't find a way to let him know your feelings, then this relationship is not real.

bijouxbroussard · F

@BadLion He knows how she feels. She’s cried, for goodness sakes—and he put her down for it ! He doesn’t care how she feels.

BadLion · 51-55, M

@bijouxbroussard I see it was just one incident, he flipped on her and made her cry, he was scared/ashamed when she caught him and trying to cover for his act.

I am not defending him, but this doesn't mean end of their relationship.

They must have a talk about their relationship and their feelings toward each other. He might also has disappointments from her.

Either they make up and give themselves a second chance, or they leave each other.

bijouxbroussard · F

@BadLion But it can’t be said he doesn’t know how she feels. A man who would make his partner feel bad for crying—at all—doesn’t care about her feelings. It’s like a man who hits his partner—it only has to be one time for her to know who and what she’s dealing with. Not all men behave that way.

TheArbitrator · 36-40, M

@BadLion I concur. If he truly doesn't want a monogamous relationship, and that's what she wants, she should do what's best for her. But I don't think catching him messaging a woman means that 'he's a narcissist' and 'abusive.' They should have a talk about it. Maybe he will apologize and agree not to talk to women anymore.

BadLion · 51-55, M

@bijouxbroussard you could be right, but I can't agree with you from a single incident. Couples have their ups and downs, only when it is just downs all the way then they should leave each other.

BadLion · 51-55, M

@TheArbitrator true, he could be going through a phase. He could be not able to have real talk with her. She might stop showing interest in him as her lover.

bijouxbroussard · F

@BadLion There are red flags. Someone cheats, or someone is abusive, especially early in the relationship, and it rarely improves. Next thing, someone is pregnant and things are that much more difficult and complicated.

BadLion · 51-55, M

@bijouxbroussard again you could be right. But one incident doesn't mean breakup of their relationship.

She said she loves him and wants him.

bijouxbroussard · F

@BadLion Unfortunately, that’s not unusual. But the chances of her actually being happy with someone who she also says makes her feel bad about herself are really not good.

BadLion · 51-55, M

@bijouxbroussard let's ask her then.
@kindaneedhelp
How long are you together?
And is this one incident?
You said you still love him, what is good about him?

bijouxbroussard · F

@BadLion Read her post rather than making her repeat herself:

BadLion · 51-55, M

@bijouxbroussard I read this post but her 2 other posts are heartbreaking, and she is pregnant and lonely.

Her partner is obsessed with Social Media life: followers and likes. Which cause real life problems.

I think she is really trapped.

bijouxbroussard · F

@BadLion Yeah, it sure looks like it. And she is pregnant. I’m not a fan of Laura Schlessinger, but her book “Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives” is worth checking out. (She wrote one for men, too.)😞