Its not a word so commonly used anymore
When I call my lady friends (who I know are 100% ladies )"dear" .its is meant with 100% respect ,,Like dear Sir or Madam
That was also a commonly use term when I was growing up
But now days I find more and more women telling me not to use that disrespectful word with them ,and when I explain it was not meant as disrespect at all ,"don't give me that southern gentlemen crap ,I know condescending when I hear it"
Now lady what you hear is your a nut ,that does not know shit from shihola ,,,another phrase not used anymore
The womans lib movements and feminist has ruined more the the words we used to use affectionately