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I Am Hurting

Trying to heal...[i][b]alone[/b][/i] with no emotional support is so very difficult, but one tiny step at a time, I am doing it. So when I join a support group that's supposed to support, and then get someone make false and unfounded accusations against me for no reason, other than whatever is going on in their own mind, takes me back a step or two in my healing process.

Why? Because trying to heal from decades of abusive behavior from your partner, takes time, especially with no emotional support, so when another starts throwing malicious barbs your way, it feels just like your ex again...like its a continuation of the abuse.

Unfortunately, it draws me back even further from men (yes, it was a man, with a couple of others backing him, and disregarding his attack on me), and trying to trust men again (to be kind and reasonable people) is one of my challenges. When I feel attacked by a man, and it's been twice now, it just destroys the work I've already put in to get this far.

I am trying not to hate men, but I tell you, there are many men who turn sensitive and respectable women right off the whole species, and that is extremely sad.
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berangere · 80-89, F
Once your trust has been damaged it is extremely difficult to trust ever again.After a lifetime of abuse from an unloving man who needed control over you by soul destroying you, you were simply worn out and also quite confused having probably lost part if nor all of your identity.This happened to me too,I became the pray of a narcissist and yes, people also tended to back him up because he was such a clever dissembler,planning things well in advance that I simply did not see coming! I remained alone,not wanting to fall in the same traps again,not wanting to go through the same kind of life,if you can call it that.Being with a narcissist isolates you from many people,they isolate you from friends and family by causing triangulation to ruin your relationships.In my case I had no family to turn to so that made it all the easier for him and he had managed to poison the mind of his own family against me.When I eventually left him no one approached me to find to what I had to say.
I hope you do met a nice man,it takes a lot of courage but after two negative experiences,no one is superhuman.HUGS.