So after 17 years my best friend

@OldMan70 If she’s married to someone who wants a monogamous relationship, clearly she [b]can’t[/b] do those things. And apparently he told her he didn’t want that. So she’s going to have choose. I have my own personal opinions about polyandry and cuckolds, but they’re not relevant here. The people in this scenario are not on the same page. He doesn’t have to stick around for something he hadn’t bargained on. And she’d be unfair to expect him to.

@Bushmanoz You, just judge him yourself

@Bushmanoz well she is also amazing. I’m worried for both of them.

@Bushmanoz

[quote]People don't tend to cheat when things are perfect[/quote]

Perfect is some fairytale fiction which doesn't exist. That's why people hopefully communicate, rather than getting banged/banging someone else

@Mindful But not everyone is. Not even my sister knows knows ins and outs of my marriage. Some things don't need to be shared.

True. So true. Life is strange. I remember when she was jealous of ANY woman that talked to him. @SW-User

@Mindful Life is strange.

@Adaydreambeliever yes... I can’t help but wonder what has made her want to end things... I wish I knew...I think like most people she will have to just live thru this... to figure herself out. She did think she had been considering divorce for years. But that’s the first time she said it to me.

@Adaydreambeliever you said it right “ there are many other reasons too and quite often it's more complicated than it first seems.”

I’ve learned a little more....it’s general but there has been an insurmountable issue with the frequency and behavior related to consuming too much alcohol and it led to some dysfunctional behavior? she feels the only way to resolve it leaving. So the affair was an excuse — It s true —it was a “never knows what goes on behind closed door situation”

They are going to counseling and hopefully it will keep them from hating each other. But..even more importantly facing functional alcohol abuse. Alcohol can be a very slow addiction to acquire? because it’s fun? I don’t know.

Yes@BeefySenpie

She’s not the type to handle it well. “Falling” in love is intoxicating... but can also be toxic. @bijouxbroussard

@Mindful Is there any chance of her spouse finding out ?

@bijouxbroussard shes not the type to live with a lie? Nor live a lie.
She just told him.

@nedkelly I only called it boring because they look like a perfect couple. I can only imagine it’s— boring? Lol. I don’t find them boring at all. But I I can’t imagine... why.

@Northwest well last night she said she had been thinking about a divorce and wanting space and wanting to be her own person. Both she and her husband are dynamic people. And they have great minds. It’s possible she wanted to be recognized for her own successes rather than her husbands? (Yet at her core she doesn’t seem to be THAT type of person ) so I don’t know the core of it. That’s why it puzzles me. Literally they seem perfect. So there is no perfect even in something observably perfect. It’s the human condition. repel or attract. I know it’s normal what they are going thru.

@Mindful No one knows what happens behind closed doors, and some people do not want to live vicariously through their spouses' success.