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So after 17 years my best friend

Decided to have an affair.

This is not going to make her as happy as she thinks. Cheating on a faithful partner is asking for drama. I think that’s the problem. Life was too perfect? In her mind it was too boring?

Sigh.

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Adaydreambeliever · 56-60, F

Possibly she was bored, possibly it brought her excitement and danger..but there are many other reasons too and quite often it's more complicated than it first seems..

Ultimately it's a difficult and damaging path to tread... even just in terms of that once you've had that excitement it's hard to do without it and in terms of what she risks in doing this.

She'd do better, as most people would, in trying to fix what's wrong with her marriage rather than directing her attention away from it.. but sadly people almost never do that and always go for what they think is a quick fix.

Mindful · 56-60, F

@Adaydreambeliever yes... I can’t help but wonder what has made her want to end things... I wish I knew...I think like most people she will have to just live thru this... to figure herself out. She did think she had been considering divorce for years. But that’s the first time she said it to me.

Mindful · 56-60, F

@Adaydreambeliever you said it right “ there are many other reasons too and quite often it's more complicated than it first seems.”

I’ve learned a little more....it’s general but there has been an insurmountable issue with the frequency and behavior related to consuming too much alcohol and it led to some dysfunctional behavior? she feels the only way to resolve it leaving. So the affair was an excuse — It s true —it was a “never knows what goes on behind closed door situation”

They are going to counseling and hopefully it will keep them from hating each other. But..even more importantly facing functional alcohol abuse. Alcohol can be a very slow addiction to acquire? because it’s fun? I don’t know.