I Feel Sad

I’m not sure if I call it sadness, but there is a real feeling of “emptiness” within me today. I’m doing my best to build a new life for myself, but still in the early stages of fumbling around trying to figure out what that looks like for me. As I had lost touch with what “living my best life,” means for me, and only came up blank every time I asked, I decided to reverse the question to “Is this conducive to living my best life” with even the smallest of actions I take, or should take because procrastination is not living my best life, either.

I feel very much alone, but not in the sense of “go out and do something,” but more existentially. I planned on taking a walk, but it’s still so cold, even at 40F, which is the “warmest” it’s been in many weeks. I’m missing people and animals whom I loved, and have gone forever. Maybe it’s winter, isolation, and loss all coming together to make me feel abandoned. *sigh*

SmartKat · 56-60, F

You’ve been through some traumatic events. The effects can last a long time. Emotional healing is not always as fast as we wish it was.

Carissimi · 70-79, F

@SmartKat I know, but I’m growing older, faster. It’s funny as you age, it becomes exponential. I accept what is, but it’s a too lonely life, Kat. It gets to me at times. If I could just have the “light” turned back on within me, but it’s been years. I think the candle was snuffed out, more like burnt out. I need another candle. How do you get the light back, the enthusiasm for life, the passion, the energy? It hasn’t come back, but I do my best to keep searching for ways to reignite it, but I truly believe it comes down to love, and feeling wanted. Like you matter to someone, even a dog. I need a dog to love, but it wouldn’t be fair to the dog, here.

Heartlander · 80-89, M

It also could be a it of SAD or the winter blues. Seasonal Affected Depression. i.e. lack of enough sunshine. I believe some claim that more vitamin D can help offset the depression.

Today was/is sunny, calm and low 50s here and what a boost to my own spirit.

That empty feeling is a bit like when the fuel gauge on the car is a micron above "E". It's hard to think of doing anything else beside getting more gas.