Cart before joke:: Man goes in for a physical and the doctor asks him about his daily routine.

The man says, "Well, Doc., just yesterday afternoon, I musta walked at least 5 miles. I waded up to my knees in a lake, drank 3 beers, outran a pack of wild dogs in the underbrush, drank another 2 beers, took a long, leisurely piss behind a tree and just stepped out of the way of an aggressive rattlesnake. Drank another beer, crawled out of quicksand, stood in a poison ivy patch, drank another 2 beers, climbed up and down 5 steep hills, and took another leak behind a tree.

The doctor, listening to all of this, was duly impressed: "Man, you must be one hell of an outdoorsman!"

"Nah, Doc. I'm just an awful golfer."