Maybe... the workload is actually too much and it is not my fault for being exhausted and feeling low most of the time.

Some of the coworkers told me I work harder than most of them. They told me I take the initiative the most compared to them all.

I had a burnout and almost everyday I locked myself in the bathroom at work crying (which I am ashamed to admit to be honest.)
And I was blaming depression for my lack of focus and low mood ...

Turns out, I had the heaviest load on my shoulders and because I am human I was not able to hold it while staying sane.

And then this happened: when we were presenting, the professor said as I was engrossed in presenting the hardest cases: aren't you taking the most complicated cases?

I laughed it off but my coworkers noticed and started to take action on it. They started to tell me to take less initiative.

I felt better afterwards... I felt freer. I started fearing going to work less and giving more.

So maybe, maybe... it was actually work and not me exaggerating being too tired.

I sometimes feel like I do a bad job, but one of these coworkers (this one is a friend) actually surprised me when she said she appreciates me too much and how I approache and care for the cases.

My words are a bit shambled but I guess this is how my emotions are atm... I need to tame them down.