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People who want to "off" themselves, Question:

Do you work? What are your jobs?

Do you call out often?

How do you deal with having a job?

Me: Been working since 18, the "norm"? I probably seem very functioning in society as far as work goes anyway. I am curious about the "hiders" though.
Miram · 31-35, F
I don't have that urge anymore, and I am sorry you struggle with the pain.

Yes, being functional and busy didn't really weight much in it for me back then. I always had to go home to my thoughts and feelings eventually. I find that it is easy to be dismissive of yourself when you constantly put others first, and yet many times it makes those feelings even more powerful because your whole existence is not yours. It feels like a trap and it gets more and more powerful, the more it is ignored.

That was the experience for me at least.
HellsBelle · 36-40, F
@Miram how don't you have the urge any more?
Miram · 31-35, F
@HellsBelle Because I am healing maybe. I cannot pin it down to a single reason or method since I have tried lot of things and approaches from therapy to spirituality and even medications. While I still struggle with helplessness facing the imperfections of this world and its horrors, I think I processed most of my own childhood traumas and I feel content with my place in this world finally.
Shadyglow · F
Abuse at work can be worse than abuse at home and the repression can be way more demanding. Lose your job and you will suffer more than simple depression.

Many people are so identified with their job role they abuse others all day esp. cause the boss likes it that way

and they never get a glimmer of how they exist at work only to be used that way. If an auto mechanic cheats u the secretary will never care. She has a paycheck instead of ethics. Only one all too common example. If the crisis line worker hears all your agony and sorrow and the caller then says they know the lockup is lucrative, no wonder that's all the hotline cares about ...that is getting people into the nuthouse, ALL SHE WILL THEN WANNA KNOW IS WHATS IS YOUR ADDRESS CAUSE SOMEONE WILL NOW SHOW UP AND MAKE U SORRY U CALLED.

the nuthouse needs adverti$$$$$$$$ers (pushers)...and warm bods in those institutional hard mattress beds.

The hotline ONLY wants to know if you're planning to do THAT, and half the people say yes only cause they want someone to care about them.

Then they lose all freedom and self respect and their job too. No unannounced absences for sucker jobs, the kind most of us have. Bars on the windows are for the millionaire criminal shrinks and the sucker slaves who thought someone cared
When I worked a traditional job, I seldom called out - though I had a mix of times where working helped to keep me occupied while other times work made me worse.

My biggest problems were typically my immediate supervisor. I did better if my boss was understanding of me and what I need than I did if my boss was a tyrant. My best boss not only had me doing my job, but I was learning pieces of hers in order to free her up to do other work that I couldn't do because of red tape.

I couldn't deal with refunds or cashing up, but I could price items up for sale as they went down to the shop floor. When we got an assistant manager, she didn't like me doing that, even though my manager was happy with me continuing to do it and told me to go on with it... she also made it clear to her that the three of us were the only people who could and would go on doing this.

That assistant broke me mentally... and I would end up jumping ship rather than staying there and leaving her to niggle at me until I finished my time there.
Pinkstarburst · 51-55, F
While exhausting, it’s incredibly easy to appear as though we have everything together. A job we do well, family, friends, outgoing in public, the happy one, the fun one.

This is essentially hiding. Hiding our struggle because we don’t want anyone to know how exhausted we are from living everyday.
KingofBones1 · 46-50, M
When I wanted to put a bullet through my brain it didn't have anything to do with a job it had to do with the entire life where I was headed and the pain that I experienced so I'm not sure how you even arrived to this post but different strokes were different folks I guess
brian29715 · 46-50, M
I struggled for a while. Very high functioning. Working since about 13, rarely call out. I just internalized my feelings and went through the motions.
I want to say to them that there’s a hug here if they want one .. that tomorrow is another day for another opportunity and if prior experiences went against them then they should see it as a learning curve and use what they have learned in the next situation they find themselves in

Most importantly of all

Be themselves

The right people will love em for it

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