If you use "utilize" in work emails rather than "use" I'm making fun of you behind your back

@caPnAhab lol, that is really annoying

@JimboSaturn when you try really hard to reach the minimum word requirement in your essay

@caPnAhab Oh god passive voice too. I may faint.

@caPnAhab Actualize the implementation of the utilization of!

@DrWatson It would be fun to make an email that is so tedious to read that people just give up.

@DrWatson We are efforting to do that , Sir, with task-driven power teams and maximum utilization of resources….crickets.

@Mamapolo2016 If not, we will pivot and leverage our synergies.

@JimboSaturn I did that once. My fuzzy-haired boss was out of control (I was his secretary), and even though his office shared a wall with the facility manager, dictated a letter to type. It was almost a full page and explained why he thought he needed another chair pad because, “I just can’t scoot around anymore like I used to.”

I came unglued and while I typed and “mailed” the letter through the mail room, I wrote another three-page draft suggesting helicopter blades or a cow-catcher…

Boss was not amused. I don’t know who gave it to him.

😂😂