Would you choose to be a full time homemaker if you could? You have to keep the house up to 1950s standards and take care of the children.

@rckt148 keeping a home made for two adults is a completely different story than keeping it made for children, isn't it?

The day of work is really intense in the moment, but being the parent doesn't have a time for clocking out and recovering between shifts. It looks easy if you think about it for a day. But as days roll into weeks into months and years, it really takes a toll, doesn't it?

@ViciDraco Now that I am disabled and the kids all grown
I don't know how they keep from going nuts
I was off on Mon and Tues ,,no one is off on those days
and she had kids tagging along ,they can't get along ,mix them with your friends kids ,,its worse
I see the whole thing different now ,,but back then
I thought
don't let the door hit you on the way out
Living through 2 divorces ,loosing my kids for 12 yrs
and now 5 days a week alone ,looking forward to my son being with me on the weekend .I see it all a lot clearer now

@rckt148 I would hope many men see the value of a mother raising children in their lives. Being a single parent is certainly a real eye opener. But if you stand back and look clearly, you would have learned this far earlier.

@PoetryNEmotion I was raised if a man worked and paid all the bills and his wife didn't have to work
she had the luxury of just being a homemaker ,and everything she needs or wants provided for her ,,that was our rolls

But to my defense ,I have had a disease eating my spine for God knows how long ,No one could find the source of my pain
and felt I only wanted drugs
12 decompressed discs ,both knees bone to bone is not in my head ,,I have pushed on to support my family regardless of the amount of pain I have been in

My ex wife and I are good friends now
She admitted to our kids that I was the best of her 4 husbands ,,and I married her when I was 16 ,,
I have learned a lot about women since

Like they did not mean their vows they took
my pain was not in my head ,and now doctors ask how do I even walk ,,,because I have had a life time of ignoring pain and doing what I felt a man should do
And if helping with laundry or doing dish's was all they needed ,,they should have spoke up ,,and not just left me
and pissed away our lives for men who abused our kids and refused to work
She has had 2 that never worked ,she supported them
and took care of our kids by herself

I loved all of them enough ,had they got me to listen ,and warned me they were going to leave me
I would have done ANYTHING to keep that from happening

To just leave me and not tell me why didn't teach me anything
except Mom was right ,,no one would ever love me
my giving them everything they wanted would only make them happy so long ,,I was to much like her ,,no one would ever stay ...and so far ,no matter how much I change ,she's been right ,,,but my kids and Grandkids love me ,,I am content
and a better man for all I have been through

And I proved I am more of a man then most of the men I know
I never gave up ,and I had more then most men I know with healthy backs ,,and women always broke me
and left me starting over from scratch

@rckt148 Working at home raising kids is a job. You have worded it poorly. Maybe you did not communicate well. I do not know. If ypu have been married several times, something went wrong. You cannot blame it all on your exes-you picked them. I am sorry you have so much pain. You would have to ask your exes why they found other men so much more desirable. Be honest. And you say you have children and grandchildren so it wasn't a total loss. Good luck to you.

@PoetryNEmotion No You need a whole story to form a better opinion of me ,and since I suck sometimes at expressing myself in short texts ,,I do mess up the message quite often

I was on my own at 13 ,,tired of being beat by a bipolar Mom who was hardly home ,,,I raised myself and 2 brothers since I was 7 ,,,when a sitter let my brother get burned so bad he spent 2 months in a nic unit
I made a deal with Mom ,no more sitters ,i would do her job ,
I was beat by her ,bullied over her weight at school and the only time we seen Dad was on the weekends ,,
He bought the food ,kept a roof over our heads ,,I did the rest ,,cooking ,cleaning ,laundry ,and it all had to look like Mom did it .
She left me step by step instructions ,when and how much to add and cooking times ,,so even the food I cooked fooled Dad ,I got beat by my Dad ,and he said "The day you are big enough ,Old enough ,to run your own home ,,GET OUT this one is mine (I was asking one of my brothers to finish his chore )I had a friend on section 8 housing ,rent subsidized by the state ,so it was cheap
I asked if I paid part of the rent ,1/2 the food 1/2 the electric could I move in ,,she said yes ,,
My Grandpa owned a sea food company ,,I asked him for a job ,he said if I could do a mans job ,he would give me a man's pay but he didn't need any boys ,,,I lifted 160 lbs of fish all afternoon and evening long ,,after going to school ,
At 14 I moved my girlfriend in ,,we married when I was 16
I passed the entrance exam to join the US Coast Guard at 16
Pulled 4 yrs and was hired to train machinist for a major rail road at 21 ,,she left me when I was 23

I was a kid ,,already doing an adults job a long time
But the abuse I endured ,and the loss of my grandma did mess me up ,,and I became an addict and a drunk

Jan 18 ,1994 God healed me of those addictions ,,instantly ,not a moment of withdrew ,and he gave me back a sound mind

I lost my second wife after major back surgery ,,back on the job 9 days later ,,but a doctor told my wife there was nothing wrong with me when a spur started cutting a tendon in my shoulder in two ,,,he told her I was an addict and she needed to get me into rehab ,she chose to leave
Her step Dad had made her Mom support him ,,she was afraid I was like him ,,always something wrong ,never holding a job

I ran a construction company building huge homes
anyone who knew me knew I was not lazy ,,just in pain
It was not until 2013 a full body MRI was done
and they could finally see ,,,I was in severe pain
and no one believed me
I admitted I had self medicated with pills and alcohol prior to surgery ..the biggest mistake of my life