Having a super hard time mentally lately (since forever?), and kinda just need to let y'all know.
Having a super hard time mentally lately (since forever?), and kinda just need to let y'all know.
My boss has never, in a year and a half, given me a single piece of good feedback. Every single thing she says is a critique.
I double the quota of required work a day, and do upper level management work without the pay. I consistently get call audits with the words "no notes" and "excellent" from quality. I run meetings. I am consistently on time, and bring 12 years of experience to bear in my position.
I have no gaps in time when I am not working, and this was also proven yet again, in my audit this week. Even though the goal per day is 65 calls/verifications, and I did 125 yesterday, she hit me up acting like I just..suck. In every way.
Looking at indeed and craigslist, it has hit me just how few marketable CERTIFICATIONS and DEGREES I have..and just how little my body can do what it used to when I was younger (like, standing for a whole shift, running around, picking things up repetitively).
I fear that she is trying to build a case against me, and I have done nothing against this woman. I am, of course, documenting documenting, documenting..but I am so concerned. I believe she was pivotal in the firing of my old boss, who cared about me and attempted to brighten my days.
He said that, once he gets a new job, he would love to work with me again. I just feel so lost and alone. I have paid my house down nearly 22 years in 6, but even owing 108k more feels daunting. I am not getting OT like I used to, and even making decent money, I am living paycheck to paycheck due to home and vehicle maintenance.
I'm starting to wish I had instead invested money in plastic surgeries and gone the "get a man" route. Just really suffering quietly, like I believe so many Americans are. And this is WITH a decent job, with benefits.
If I had kids during this time, I just have no idea what I would do!! Trump is doing all in his power to criminalize homelessness, poverty, even sugary drinks on SNAP.
The daily cruelty is almost more than I can bear. And not having a family to love and care for me is a never ending throb of "you're not good enough/no one loves you/you are an imposter/look how ugly you are that everyone hates you"....
I am just praying and crying my way through life, trying to claw myself toward some semblance of stability....The fact that others have it so much worse completely rends my heart.
If I didn't have my best friend here, God knows what I would do. I so badly want to volunteer and make my life MEAN something, but it takes nearly everything I have keeping myself afloat. Sucks, man. This life is not at all what they sold me as a kid.
My boss has never, in a year and a half, given me a single piece of good feedback. Every single thing she says is a critique.
I double the quota of required work a day, and do upper level management work without the pay. I consistently get call audits with the words "no notes" and "excellent" from quality. I run meetings. I am consistently on time, and bring 12 years of experience to bear in my position.
I have no gaps in time when I am not working, and this was also proven yet again, in my audit this week. Even though the goal per day is 65 calls/verifications, and I did 125 yesterday, she hit me up acting like I just..suck. In every way.
Looking at indeed and craigslist, it has hit me just how few marketable CERTIFICATIONS and DEGREES I have..and just how little my body can do what it used to when I was younger (like, standing for a whole shift, running around, picking things up repetitively).
I fear that she is trying to build a case against me, and I have done nothing against this woman. I am, of course, documenting documenting, documenting..but I am so concerned. I believe she was pivotal in the firing of my old boss, who cared about me and attempted to brighten my days.
He said that, once he gets a new job, he would love to work with me again. I just feel so lost and alone. I have paid my house down nearly 22 years in 6, but even owing 108k more feels daunting. I am not getting OT like I used to, and even making decent money, I am living paycheck to paycheck due to home and vehicle maintenance.
I'm starting to wish I had instead invested money in plastic surgeries and gone the "get a man" route. Just really suffering quietly, like I believe so many Americans are. And this is WITH a decent job, with benefits.
If I had kids during this time, I just have no idea what I would do!! Trump is doing all in his power to criminalize homelessness, poverty, even sugary drinks on SNAP.
The daily cruelty is almost more than I can bear. And not having a family to love and care for me is a never ending throb of "you're not good enough/no one loves you/you are an imposter/look how ugly you are that everyone hates you"....
I am just praying and crying my way through life, trying to claw myself toward some semblance of stability....The fact that others have it so much worse completely rends my heart.
If I didn't have my best friend here, God knows what I would do. I so badly want to volunteer and make my life MEAN something, but it takes nearly everything I have keeping myself afloat. Sucks, man. This life is not at all what they sold me as a kid.
41-45, F
