Yesterday was heavy.

I walked into work being greeted by the owner’s daughter who was in tears. Her first words were, “I’m really gonna need you today.” And with that the hat turned backwards and I put my game face on.


She informed me that my beloved boss had been airlifted to Vanderbilt because her airways were closing up due to complications from a tooth extraction. They were going to have to do emergency surgery and possibly put her in a coma for a couple of days.

She also informed me that my number one girl on the front line called out due to sickness. So there would only three of us in the kitchen for a shift that would have to cater to a group of 30, two other parties that were reserved, and the normal Sunday flow of patrons.

The entire time she was delivering this news she was rocking side to side because her nerves were that shot. She didn’t want to be there. She wanted to be with her mom but was forced to hold down the fort because that’s what you have to do in a family business. So, I hugged her long and tight as I heard her voice break up even more in my ear. And while I held her there for a good 30 seconds or more, I comforted her with the words she needed to hear from me.


It’ll be okay.
She’s a fighter.
And so are you.
We’ve got this.


After we released from the embrace, I looked her in the eye to said the same words over again. Slower. More stern. She nodded in agreement.


I walked inside to see the other manager with red eyes. She’s been through a lot this year herself, but I could tell she was weighed down even more by this. Her and the owner have been “family” for 15 years now and when I touched her shoulder and asked how she was holding up, that 15-year-love couldn’t help but express itself. She cried into my chest and the rest who could bear witness came over to create the group hug we all needed. We were silent with words but loud in the grief and fear that couldn’t help but be felt.

But what surprised me is I didn’t shed a tear. I didn’t have a break in my voice, or show an ounce of fear or panic unlike a few weeks back when I drove myself into a panic attack when hearing of another coworker’s sudden ER visit. Either my anti anxiety medication is working beautifully or I just flowed that naturally into protection mode for this group that I have come to deeply love and was hellbent on being the pillar they needed…her.


The group of 30 arrived nearly an hour early and were absolutely ridiculous from the get-go. Refusing to wait outside while we served other customers and get their area ready. Constantly hovering over the waitresses wondering why their area wasn’t ready yet. And claiming more tables as their own as their number grew. One of waitress came to the window fighting tears because of their antics, which instantly had me untying my apron. I knew it wasn’t my place to be that person, but I was ready to be when the owner’s daughter grabbed my arm and said, “…don’t.” The “please, don’t” in her eyes is the only reason I tied my apron back.


Later in the day, we got word that she made it through surgery without any complications and no coma was needed. She even sent a selfie with her entire head bandaged up, bless her heart. But she wanted us to know she was okay and I love that she did that. The mood changed just like that and everyone’s hearts were lighter as smiles started to flow. I even sent her a text since she teased me about going to the ER for my panic attack on a Friday.



Fast forward to an hour before close and the thankfulness that no one came in. I was starting to feel the effects of having to repress my emotions all day though, so I decided to start playing some music on my watch. We were able to clean in peace, but with the backing of Chevelle, Slipknot, Avenged Sevenfold, and Linkin Park thanks to the personal playlists playing from my watch and the 17-year-old’s, who is the owner’s grandson. He had never worked so efficiently and despite the roller coaster of a day it had been, said he was having the most fun with the brightest smile. Other than hearing that she had made it through surgery okay, hearing him say that was one of the major highlights of the day.


Last night the repression caught up to me as my adrenaline spiked over and over again, waking me up and refusing to let me get the rest I thought I had earned. It finally came, but I’d still battle that night of adrenaline to be who I needed to be yesterday.

…Forever fuck that group of 30 though.


Today the breaths are coming…And as I was typing this…

They’ll come even easier now 💞