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Recognizing Workplace Abuse for what it is

Last week I was called into the office by the office manager. I am his equal and generally never in trouble, but his tone suggested I had committed some deadly sin. I went prepared.

A client had wanted something she could not have and was not taking No lightly. The owner of the account did not like my answers and sentence structure. (yep. Crazy) He was afraid that my writing was going to offend the client (it didn’t-she thanked me in the email)

I am always open for constructive criticism, but this went far beyond that. Our manager made this big show of how much trouble I was in. “What were you thinking, he said? What horrible thing is going on in your life to cause you to do this. This is not our standard of customer service. Look at your words” (overkill-you would have thought I had slaughtered a child) He had run my doc by 3 owners and they were appalled (I guess he needed a consensus)

He asked me if I saw anything wrong with my sentence structure. I said no. And the client wasn’t mad either. He called me a liar. I had to make him pull up the docs again.

Then it took a really weird turn. He had heard I had made a call to one of the owners and I had to repeat verbatim what the call was about to see if I matched the other guy’s version. His parting remarks were “I wonder what else you are working on” as if I was sneaking around the company.

That did it. I saw down and wrote out all the abusive points. This morning I called one of the owners (my favorite boss) and told him what was said to me. I told him this is about power and control. He is trying to isolate us from any recourse.

It will be handled because he noticed stuff going on too. It will not end well for this manager.
jackjjackson · 61-69, M
When he is fired let me know when and where the party is. I’ll bring the pigs in blankets and Dijon for dipping.
akindheart · 61-69, F
@jackjjackson perfect!
jackjjackson · 61-69, M
akindheart · 61-69, F
@Crazywaterspring love you guys!!
CassandraSissy · 22-25, T
Well done, sweetie! People should a) get their facts straight and, b) stop acting abusive.

My workplace has been - mostly - fine over the years that I have worked there (a loooonnnggggg time!) and, being the token trans person, I remember a few incidents of sexism...and, well, I am not one to back down when I am pissed (ie, angry) so with each of these 'incidents' I have balled them out (Ie, again, argued in public......the UK term) , just making them know what is and what isn't acceptable. They had later apologised, I think.

Obviously, word gets around, and people either have your back so that newbies don't act like dicks or at least they keep their prejudices to themselves.

Keep up sticking to your guns. You're in the right...

Hope this idiot gets their just desserts..

akindheart · 61-69, F
@CassandraSissy Thank you for your kind words. good for you for defending yourself. Work places has to realize that people have rights too. unfortunately where i live it is a right to fire state.
CassandraSissy · 22-25, T
@akindheart Hugs, sweetie...

I just tend to find that calling them out in front of their mates/friends/colleagues for unacceptable behaviour works wonders...and, anyways, in your case it would all be inaccurate information from him in the first place.....that's grounds for unfair dismissal.

You in a union?
akindheart · 61-69, F
@CassandraSissy no i am not in a union. they are hard to get down here
Dainbramadge · 51-55, M
If he is your equal who the hell was he to critique you?
If some one at my work thought they were going to berate me from an equals stance they should be ready to go to the parking lot.

I love my job thank God. My boss sings to me every day. True story. :-)
akindheart · 61-69, F
@Dainbramadge i have been very lucky too. i love my job and the guys I work for except this one
Slade · 56-60, M
That blows big, syphilitic cock. Stand your'll win 🤗
jackjjackson · 61-69, M
Has his car been keyed yet? If not, it’s overdue. @akindheart
akindheart · 61-69, F
@jackjjackson ha ha...i would rather strangle him.
jackjjackson · 61-69, M
Latex gloves @akindheart
I was a government employee for 30+ years. Two major points I learned among many, was in the real of written communication . 1. Be very careful how and what you put in words to paper. It can come back to haunt you. 2. If you are complimented, praised or thanked in written communication, always keep them. They come in handy should a superior be off base about your performance not realizing the “ ammunition “ you have to counter them.
@Crazywaterspring Are you federal
Or other? I was federal. Learned much in that time.
Crazywaterspring · 61-69, M
@soar2newhighs Fed. I retire in less than two months.
@Crazywaterspring If I may, what agency? I was forced out at 60. Too old to fight fires by Government standards.
Be very mindful of your retirement, be it FERS or CSRS.
ronisme1 · 61-69, M
By the way, it could be a age thing. 2 of the bosses wanted someone younger and cheaper but the main owner loves me and backed the other two off.
akindheart · 61-69, F
@ronisme1 how can you replace knowledge? good for your owner
akindheart · 61-69, F
@ronisme1 Crazy isn't it. I write like i write in the story.
braveheart21 · 61-69, M
Go girl... Rip him apart... 👍👍👍
braveheart21 · 61-69, M
We hope so love.. @akindheart
1pebbles · 56-60, F
@akindheart always welcome here
akindheart · 61-69, F
@1pebbles aww thanks for the invite. I love england
Ambroseguy80 · 51-55, M
So….. you’re still “sneaking around” the company, eh? 😀

Good for you.
Ambroseguy80 · 51-55, M
@akindheart sometimes it’s necessary to go over someone’s head.
akindheart · 61-69, F
@Ambroseguy80 thanks to you for being the anchor here. it helped me think clearly
Ambroseguy80 · 51-55, M
@akindheart so glad for you.
heavyone2 · 61-69, M
Remind them that's what retirement is about.... leaving all the bs behind.
akindheart · 61-69, F
@heavyone2 LOL. i told him that was the reason i was leaving. Here I am trying to do them a favor and they do this? all he had to say is that this style of writing was better
heavyone2 · 61-69, M
@akindheart Time to give em the "spring finger" and
akindheart · 61-69, F
@heavyone2 i would if it were not for my bosses. that little prick was being Hitler. he is not my guys and if he touches me again, he will regret it
RuyLopez · 56-60, M
He was the one that conducted himself unprofessionally. Sounds like you out maneuvered him. Good for you.
akindheart · 61-69, F
@RuyLopez I learned that you have to take a step back. Never act out of anger. OR you will forget the points you need to make
LunarOrbit · 56-60, M
Having a boss on your side says alot. Hope it ends in your favour. Nobody likes problems in the workplace.
akindheart · 61-69, F
@LunarOrbit we are getting ready for the fight. if this little prick finds out i called someone he will be at me again at which point, i will walk out. leave them high and dry
Sounds intense. Keep us posted
akindheart · 61-69, F
@Quoththeraven it was my turn i guess. but it won't be again. thank you
@akindheart light em up
akindheart · 61-69, F
@Quoththeraven I will give you part 2 when it happens!
Quimliqer · 61-69, MVIP
Stand your ground!!
akindheart · 61-69, F
@Quimliqer I did! and the boss believed me. He said he was seeing stuff too
Emarkx · 26-30, M
Really tough one
Thomas52 · 70-79, M
I'm so glad that you're not allowing this to go by without challenge. I have experience of this sort of behaviour and until someone stands up to it, it just poisons the place.
akindheart · 61-69, F
@Thomas52 yes it does. and thank you. i took it at first then i got a slow boil. i had to write down exactly what made me mad.
WillaKissing · 56-60, T
You handled both the client and the ass manager well. I always hated power tripping people that looked to cause drama to better their position. Err, and good for you to stand your ground.
akindheart · 61-69, F
@WillaKissing thank you sweetie!! i appreciate the kind words. i will keep you posted.
Pretzel · 61-69, M
file a harrassment complaint if possible through a government agency and document the abuse - especially the liar part.
akindheart · 61-69, F
@Pretzel my boss is going to get him and he won't even know what hit him. I like the rest of the company
Pretzel · 61-69, M
@akindheart good for you - glad you had backup.
iamonfire696 · 36-40, F
So sorry this is happening. I am glad you have that boss on your side.
akindheart · 61-69, F
@iamonfire696 me too. the manager was blocking us from going to anyone else. total control
iamonfire696 · 36-40, F
@akindheart what a jerk!

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