I met my new boss's husband, and since then I've been thinking about him...

We were all at dinner. I got seated next to him. I thought, Ugh now i have to force conversation all night with the boss's husband. But he turned out to be really interesting. The dinner lasted three hours. We talked nearly the entire time. Every time I would turn away and start to talk to someone else at the table, he would draw me back in. He was very relaxed, had his arm around my chair, our knees touched. Normally, I'm the kind of person who would pull away, but I left it there. He's not even my type physically, but last night after I got home and showered and went to bed, I had a dream about him, and now I can't stop thinking about him. I looked him up on the internet. I thought, I'm not attracted to him. He's got so many wrinkles around his eyes. But then I read some of his writing. His writing is just the way he speaks. So, I put it away. Then searched him again. This is the worst. I always fall for men who are unavailable. I don't expect this infatuation to last, but still, it makes me feel so lonely. I want a lover. But I want to feel a meaningful connection, even if it's only fleeting. I can't do bad sex with some pig anymore. But I can't find anything meaningful on some dating app or in a bar or dance club but that's all that's available. I'm destined to remain alone.