How do you tell if a woman is on her period?

The menstrual cycle is complex, it's practically folklorish. By that, I don't mean it's imaginary, it isn't, it's uncomfortable and confusing, it's hormonal thermonuclear war. I mean it's something resonant, almost magical. I'm a man, so my grasp of it is nowhere near the experience of a woman. However, the fact we are just in a new year is appropriate, as the year used to last 13 months with each month consisting of 28 days. This corresponded to the (feminine) Lunar Cycle. It was Julius Caesar who changed it to the 12 month (masculine) Solar Cycle, mainly because it was easier to unify tax law, plan military campaigns, etc. Ask why we "start" a new year in the depths of winter when animals hibernate and the earth sleeps? The new year should (and used to) begin at the Spring Equinox, when the earth and creatures awake and flowers begin to bloom. This is why, perhaps, we feel out of step with nature. We should return to the Feminine Cycle. We should realign ourselves with who we used to be. We should get back in step with nature.

This is the end of my TED Talk.

She tends to be a bit grumpy. Handle with care.