I had a rough night. My Husband and I had a communication meltdown last night. I won't go into that here, as I wrote about it in another post. Usually, this sends me straight to pasta for comfort, but my eating window was over. Instead, I cried, hid in my room for a few, then I got on here and wrote my thoughts down. That worked... I didn't eat..
This may not seem like much to some folks, but I have spent most of my life eating my emotions, so for me, this is huge!!! Especially after a fight, I reach for food the way some reach for a drink, a drug, or a smoke. It is a comforting and calming technique that has been like my best friend for most of my life. Only this "Best Friend" is killing me.
I have left my other best friends, smoking, drugs, alcohol, etc. on the road of my past, but this best friend has been with me through thick and thick.
Ok, I meant to add a picture of a chubby old lady enjoying food here, but I couldn't find one anywhere. I think this might be a warning. I am thinking that overweight elderly women are not very common, because they don't make it to be elderly????? 😱
Last night, though, I heard my "friend" saying things like, "Oh, just go get a bite. You are too sick to deal with this without me. You need to calm down. You can start your intermittent fast again tomorrow. You don't deserve to be treated the way he treated you, so you should treat yourself to a goodie, and on and on. However, because I was so sick from the argument, I just sat still and really listened to the words I was telling myself. Somehow, paying close attention to the inner dialogue seemed to drain the strength of the words. Usually, I just give in and eat, but I wrote about my feelings instead.
I am not sure what I am feeling right this minute, but I think I am a little proud of myself.
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