I Want to Lose Weight

I finally am down to below 180, probably about 175 now. I'm really excited. That's the lowest I have been in years. I was 227, for the people who didn't read my last weight loss post. That's about fifty pounds I have lost. I still have around forty to lose, but honestly, it's become something I could never ever go back on now. I'm never letting myself go like that again. I can't wait. Just a few more months and I should have reached my goal, then I can really begin building muscle again. I was really fit and had abs and very firm biceps and legs, and I was pretty happy with my body until I got bullied a lot and people called me fat anyway. Skinny people who had no muscle, go figure. When I had my eating disorders, it destroyed my metabolism. My parents and caseworkers and doctors all forced me to eat and gain weight as quickly as possible but what they didn't understand is that it shouldn't have been that fast. I have stretch marks and it created a bad habit of eating a lot. I used it as a coping mechanism and something to do when I was bored or depressed. Now I realize that while food can be fun, it is meant to nourish the body and it is not a past time, you don't just eat for the hell of it. I'm forming good habits now, paying attention to what I eat and how much, cutting back on carbs and sugars, only eating a certain amount of calories. (1200 now instead of 1080, according to my updated weight in the online websites that are supposed to tell you how much to eat based on weight and height. I'm 5'3") And that's lower than what it said but I get too full eating 1400 calories, even 1200 calories now feels like how I used to eat. Even though I know it isn't. I still get afraid I'll slip back into my old ways if I don't cut back even more. But I know that would be slipping even further back and I would be back to square one. Anyway. I will update again in a couple months about my journey to becoming fit again. I'll probably continue to update every once in a while about maintaining my health as well, for anyone on a journey of their own, I don't know, maybe this will help inspire people or guide people. Who knows. But anyway, if you are struggling with this, either losing weight or eating disorders or becoming fit, message me, I'm always willing to chat.