If you're going to lie on the internet, please make it convincing.

Do a little research on the subject you want to pretend to know about or be experienced in. I enjoy a challenge. And, before you try to tell me that you served in the United States Coast Guard, maybe learn English. I'm not convinced that someone who writes like four year old on meth could pass the basic literacy tests required of people who join the armed forces, let alone be given access to firearms.