My neighbour has bought a boat. It’s sat on a trailer and to be polite you’d say it’s a “fixer upper”

I suppose if he can’t fix it we can just cover it in lights, take out a Bluetooth speaker and get drunk on it. Which is what we did with the den he built for his boys who weren’t interested because it didn’t have WiFi…

The last owner named the boat Pickles, that’s got to change for a start. It’s so small I can’t imagine it’s been on anything bigger than a river.