Woke up after an exhausting shift…day really…thinking it was a day to relax.
Soon realized it was just Thursday. And I have four more days of holiday insanity in front of me.
But at least today I don’t have an appointment with an optometrist just to get a form that says I can drive in my state after I failed the peripheral portion of the vision test at the DMV. At least today I don’t have to hear that the pressure is a bit high in my eye, triggering the still fresh trauma response I experienced in my cancer journey. At least today I don’t have to see my husband constantly playing on his phone while I’m clearly struggling mentally with the information instead of being attentive and comforting, which was the reason I wanted him with me for the appointment. At least today I don’t have to run to the store afterwards to quickly grab some things while my heart rate doesn’t have the opportunity to settle because he reminds me he has to be to work soon. At least today I don’t have to wait in the drive thru at Subway waiting on an order my youngest placed, turning off my car’s air because I didn’t want to put too much strain on its engine while sitting still. At least today I don’t have to hear my husband yell from another room “Can you send me $5?” after we finally get back home and I’m trying to make myself something to eat before work…just to hear he decided not to bother going in for his shift. At least today I won’t see “Ineligible to renew online due to a medical condition” on my screen after trying to save myself a two hour drive by renewing my driver’s license online with the form I needed to submit to move forward.
So, yeah. It may just be Thursday but at least I don’t have to deal with all of that. I can simply lounge with the dogs as I enjoy wasting time with a calmer heart and mind knowing there is nothing I need or even want to do before I go into Lincoln Hawk mode for work.
That legit breather in itself will make it a decent day.
But at least today I don’t have an appointment with an optometrist just to get a form that says I can drive in my state after I failed the peripheral portion of the vision test at the DMV. At least today I don’t have to hear that the pressure is a bit high in my eye, triggering the still fresh trauma response I experienced in my cancer journey. At least today I don’t have to see my husband constantly playing on his phone while I’m clearly struggling mentally with the information instead of being attentive and comforting, which was the reason I wanted him with me for the appointment. At least today I don’t have to run to the store afterwards to quickly grab some things while my heart rate doesn’t have the opportunity to settle because he reminds me he has to be to work soon. At least today I don’t have to wait in the drive thru at Subway waiting on an order my youngest placed, turning off my car’s air because I didn’t want to put too much strain on its engine while sitting still. At least today I don’t have to hear my husband yell from another room “Can you send me $5?” after we finally get back home and I’m trying to make myself something to eat before work…just to hear he decided not to bother going in for his shift. At least today I won’t see “Ineligible to renew online due to a medical condition” on my screen after trying to save myself a two hour drive by renewing my driver’s license online with the form I needed to submit to move forward.
So, yeah. It may just be Thursday but at least I don’t have to deal with all of that. I can simply lounge with the dogs as I enjoy wasting time with a calmer heart and mind knowing there is nothing I need or even want to do before I go into Lincoln Hawk mode for work.
That legit breather in itself will make it a decent day.
46-50, F
