Quote of the Day
"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong."
- Mohandas Gandhi.
- Mohandas Gandhi.
26-30, F
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Well yes....but I know there is more to it than that. Forgiving, and forgetting, break along the line of the sexes. She will forgive, and forgive rather easily, If the one is deserving of it. And oft, even if they are not deserving, she does so just "to move on" . I do not think that is a strength of HER character. BUT--forgetting--OMG! She NEVER WILL. EVER. Not even close. Forgetting for her is damn hard.
Consider. She can be told when she is 8-10 year old by one that "she is not that pretty. " Or "You are your sister as SO different- she is the prettiest"
And in time she will forgive the person that said that to her. That hurt her feelings. BUT--
She is now 88 year old. Alone, sitting on her rocker;one her late husband of 44 years built. Every day he would wake her with kisses and tell her she " was the most beautiful girl in the world" . But at, 88, she still remembers the one that said that when she was 8 years old. Where is was said, what she wore, the season. All. She has long ago forgiven-but she has not forgot. And she remembers that MORE than the thousands of times her husband told his loving words. . That is generally a woman- forgiving, easy . Forgetting , not at all.
Now him. Unless a sportsman's lodge or fire dept had a dinner-he cannot remember WHAT he ate on Friday night. And I am posting this Tuesday morning. Same foir Saturday night. So forgetting for him is easy. Prob easier than forgiving is for her- as that involves some empathy.
But for him to forgive--to forgive a hurt, like that equates to the 8 year old hurt of hers. Nope. That is damn hard for him. He will be old and will NOT have forgiven. He may SAY it, publicly, and to the faces of others. But in his heart of hearts, he has not. Forgetting? Easy. Forgiving. No.
But IF he somehow does, maybe that IS a sigh of strength- and it may be what Gandhi, a male, was speaking of. I doubt he was looking a things form a feminine standpoint.
So I get the sentiment- But it is far more complicated than that.
Consider. She can be told when she is 8-10 year old by one that "she is not that pretty. " Or "You are your sister as SO different- she is the prettiest"
And in time she will forgive the person that said that to her. That hurt her feelings. BUT--
She is now 88 year old. Alone, sitting on her rocker;one her late husband of 44 years built. Every day he would wake her with kisses and tell her she " was the most beautiful girl in the world" . But at, 88, she still remembers the one that said that when she was 8 years old. Where is was said, what she wore, the season. All. She has long ago forgiven-but she has not forgot. And she remembers that MORE than the thousands of times her husband told his loving words. . That is generally a woman- forgiving, easy . Forgetting , not at all.
Now him. Unless a sportsman's lodge or fire dept had a dinner-he cannot remember WHAT he ate on Friday night. And I am posting this Tuesday morning. Same foir Saturday night. So forgetting for him is easy. Prob easier than forgiving is for her- as that involves some empathy.
But for him to forgive--to forgive a hurt, like that equates to the 8 year old hurt of hers. Nope. That is damn hard for him. He will be old and will NOT have forgiven. He may SAY it, publicly, and to the faces of others. But in his heart of hearts, he has not. Forgetting? Easy. Forgiving. No.
But IF he somehow does, maybe that IS a sigh of strength- and it may be what Gandhi, a male, was speaking of. I doubt he was looking a things form a feminine standpoint.
So I get the sentiment- But it is far more complicated than that.
MysticMermaid456 · 26-30, F
@Elandra77: I love how deep you go into things. This one, simple sentence. And you have analysed it and taken it apart and broken it down and brought so much meaning to it, haha. I love your insights, thank you so much.
But I completely understand, haha! I can't say much for the male point of view, but as a female, I've seen many a woman, and also self-experienced, the heavy heart of forgiving someone but still carrying the baggage of the situation with you for sometimes even years after the act itself. Long after everyone else has forgotten, maybe even the person who committed the act has forgotten too. But the woman still remembers and feels the emotion as if it was yesterday.
As I said, I can't speak for men about this because I haven't experienced that but I still loved reading your male insight too, thank you haha.
But I completely understand, haha! I can't say much for the male point of view, but as a female, I've seen many a woman, and also self-experienced, the heavy heart of forgiving someone but still carrying the baggage of the situation with you for sometimes even years after the act itself. Long after everyone else has forgotten, maybe even the person who committed the act has forgotten too. But the woman still remembers and feels the emotion as if it was yesterday.
As I said, I can't speak for men about this because I haven't experienced that but I still loved reading your male insight too, thank you haha.
@MysticMermaid456: I am a MTF transgendered person and I identify much more as a lady than a man. I have not worn any male clothes in 6 years. Or used his restroom. So I get her heart and her soul. As I believe I truly am that woman. And it is oft to HER heart and mind that I write to when I write. Some of us were just born in the wrong body. But I have more Estrogen and Progesterone in me than any others.
So I am analyzing this from both perspectives. As I get both. I know how it would have affected me , at that age, as a girl, had one told me that. Body image issues are terrible for women. As is shaming. There is so much competition to be pretty and desirable. And the media DOES NOT help. Beauty magazines shame her each month. So that is how I approached this. I have told this story, of forgiving and forgetting to many.
Lastly, thank you for your kinds word. Words of support and approval. If my insights gave you pause to think, then it was worth the time.
So I am analyzing this from both perspectives. As I get both. I know how it would have affected me , at that age, as a girl, had one told me that. Body image issues are terrible for women. As is shaming. There is so much competition to be pretty and desirable. And the media DOES NOT help. Beauty magazines shame her each month. So that is how I approached this. I have told this story, of forgiving and forgetting to many.
Lastly, thank you for your kinds word. Words of support and approval. If my insights gave you pause to think, then it was worth the time.
MysticMermaid456 · 26-30, F
That's so beautiful, I had a lot of confusion as a child and believe that, as a child, I was genderfluid. As an adult, I don't know if this is by nature or by stipulation, but I haven't experienced the confusion I did as a child. But I support and respect you so much for sharing that information, thank you so much and I wish you all the health and happiness. You must be so content now, I can only imagine how it must feel carrying that confusion into adulthood.
I agree 100%. It's amazing to hear it from both points of view, you're really quite lucky to have experienced both. It's rare that people have the chance to experience both, so that must feel amazing to have that knowledge and wisdom.
It's no problem at all! I really enjoy our little talks, haha. Your insights definitely gave me pause to think, lol. I hope all is well.
I agree 100%. It's amazing to hear it from both points of view, you're really quite lucky to have experienced both. It's rare that people have the chance to experience both, so that must feel amazing to have that knowledge and wisdom.
It's no problem at all! I really enjoy our little talks, haha. Your insights definitely gave me pause to think, lol. I hope all is well.
IcePrincess · 22-25, F
MethDozer · M
The racist Ghandi was full of platitudes.