Why do narcissistic parents make life so difficult for their children even after they've grown up?

Is feeling grossed out by something a natural reaction or a choice and is it then my fault if I am grossed out by trans people?
Can someone be misunderstood at work simply because they aren't fluent in the language being spoken?
Is it possible to feel valued and respected in a relationship if both partners see themselves as "damaged and broken"? How does that work?