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How much of your love for your current partner is actually just a deep fear of having to start over with someone new?

When is it acceptable for a widow to start dating? I can't help but wonder if my husband will know. I feel like I'm cheating.
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CurrentName · 51-55, MNew
It does feel like cheating. Also, I feel like I have very little patience to do the whole getting used to someone new thing.
Kinda like a jigsaw puzzle. There was a time when I would actually spend the time and effort making sure everything fit just right. Now id much rather but the thing already put together. Something like that

 
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