After a challenging relationship, how do you learn to trust your own instincts when meeting new people?

Why is it so hard to resist the urge to "win" an argument, and what are some effective ways to prioritize kindness over being right?
How can staying silent during a confrontation help diffuse the situation, and are there other techniques for avoiding arguments?
Can you share a time when addressing a potential conflict with kindness led to a surprising friendship or positive outcome?