Describe a person you were in love with and how they made you feel

My manager at a restaurant i worked at. He was super sexy. Never felt that enamored with anyone before. Made me super excited to go to work just so i could see him, had a super crush on him. Then i was crushed and devastated. Im cautious around those emotions now. Even though its always been hard to feel emotion...that was during my tendency to get drunk to feel emotions. So i was surprized to feel anything when i was sober. Suffice it to say i didnt enjoy that experience. But further became addicted to depression because of it.