What time of day do you start serving dinner at your house?
What time do you have your evening meal?
Hi guys, my wife has decided that "tea/dinner time" is between 5-6pm and that is when most people will eat their evening meal . She is now convinced its reasonable to expect people to have already eaten after this point.
For some reason she's convinced that that is the time we normally eat...even though I do all the cooking , and I havnt finished a shift before 6pm for about 6 months.
I suspect, that at least for your average working 40ish yr old,most folk with be eating at least an hour or two later... On average, about what time of the day do you all start cooking dinner and what time does your family eat?
How late do people stay at your house after a dinner party?
My wife and I had friends over for dinner and the visit was great but eventually at 2AM I started doing the dishes because I was tired and wanted to wrap things up. I had offered our spare room if people wanted to stay and it wasn’t clear who would be driving.
You did not want them to stay, so ideally you would have kicked them out sooner. Remarking on how much you enjoyed the company, remarking on morning plans, and cleaning are the main ways you can point people to the door. If they miss the hints, you can explain directly that you have to get to bed and offer to show them to the guest room before you do.
"We've really had a great time with you guys tonight! We should get together soon and do it again" - then stand up! If they still don't get it, ask if they want any leftovers to go? (Even if you don't have any, you can discover that once you've gotten them out of their seats.)
We had a sitter for the kids last night so we ate (at home) and then got out the door to catch a movie as soon as the sitter got here. It was a pretty long movie, so we were both really hungry again afterward. She was craving pizza from one of our favorite local places that was only a 2-3 min walk, so without even realizing what time it was, we started in that direction.
Well, as we came thru the door I could see the place was completely empty. They close at 10 pm and it was 9:51 or something. My wife could see I was wanting to leave but she was being really difficult and I HATE having arguments when we're in public...so I went along with it.
She's done this before at 20-30 mins before closing times, but never this late. All I can say is it made me feel really uncomfortable. I've never been a server but I could tell from their faces that they were really f*ucking annoyed.
And of course, she had to order one of the specialty pizzas with all this extra shit on it. Once the waitress left, I only somewhat jokingly said "They're gonna spit on your pizza." She could sense the sarcasm in my voice and asked what my deal was. I explained to her how I was uncomfortable going into a sit-down restaurant when it's this close to closing time.
She was upset by this and got really defensive and said it's their job to serve customers until the stated closing time. She said if they're open, we should be able to dine there. I tried to explain that the staff probably wants to clean up and go home, and it's just common courtesy not to barge in right at the last minute.
It might just be me but I think hinting at it like this is kind of embarassing. If it were me I would be more like "WELL! It's getting late and I have stuff to do tomorrow so it's time for everyone to fuck off out of it!" (being humorous about it).
When eating at someone else’s house, intentionally take small portions of everything - it is easy to politely finish everything they made for you even if you didn’t like it, and it is flattering to ask for seconds of the things you liked.
When told not to bring anything…
What is the proper etiquette when a hostess/host tells you not to bring anything for a family meal when you offer if you can?
A bit of a backstory here: I was always raised that when invited to a family/friend/special occasion meal, you don’t show up empty handed. I always ask what can I bring, what can I help you with, etc when invited.
My MIL always says, “nothing” which leaves me in an awkward spot because I want to bring something (I enjoy cooking and baking things and sharing with others), but my offering is always turned down.
She’s the only one who ever tells me to bring nothing (except yourselves) and I just do not know how to respond to this.
For parties with a bunch of people, it is fine to show up "fashionably late" and it's not necessary to show up right at 7. 7:15 ish would be fine. The bigger the party, the more lenience there is with arrival time. (Generally speaking.)
We would have parties with about 15-20 people and expected most people to trickle in over the course of the first 30 minutes of the party, with some stragglers coming later than that. It was expected and perfectly fine as everyone was just chatting and drinking. Still, if I were you I'd aim for some time around 7:15 give or take.
If it's just you both and another couple or a very small party, then showing up close to 7 is ideal so they wouldn't be just waiting for you. So if it's less than 8 or so people, I'd show up pretty close to 7. If there's more than that you're fine showing up closer to 7:15 ish. I wouldn't go that much later though since 7 is close to dinner time.
Do you know what kind of party it is? A dinner party? Are you set to eat right at 7? Then get there then no matter the size of the party. I know for most dinner parties I go to there's an hour or so for people to have a drink and chat before dinner is served. In that case it's not as imperative to show up at 7 on the dot. It's important to show up right on time if there's a specific schedule to events, (e.g. a wedding reception, a performance, the start of the show, dinner starting, etc.)
As a Hispanic, I can vouch for this. My family used to comment on how Americans were “rude” (for lack of better words) for showing up on time. Even worse if they were early. But once we started trying to assimilate, we realized how rude we were perceived for showing up so late. In contrast, my friend group is almost obnoxiously punctual, so they expect people to show up right on time, unless you warn them in advance.
The time has probably passed for this question, but for future reference, I’d show up within 15 minutes of the stated time, unless you know them well enough to know they won’t mind you earlier or later! Like you stated, it’s a matter of context!
The OP’s wife is calculating that the party will last until midnight to ring in the new year. If the party starts at 7pm, then the party will last for 5 hours. That’s a long time to be hanging out at someone’s house for a small group gathering. Most events like that wind down after 3 hours.
As an introvert, I love showing up right on time. You get some quality time with the hosts before the other visitors show up and they become too busy entertaining everyone else. Besides that, I like helping out with any leftover preparations.
Really? I find that gatherings with just a few close friends can go all night. Our closest two couple friends are both frequent party hosts and even with larger gatherings the six of us are usually still in the kitchen chatting and drinking at 2am.
I recently started working at a nice high-end restaurant, and it's so much easier than I expected. This restaurant required 5+ years of serving experience from a "respectable" restaurant. Their tabs for 2 people easily hit $150 - $250. I expected this to be a test of my abilities. In reality, it's just serving...without the extra stuff.
A place like Applebees requires their servers to bus their own tables, do a shit ton of side work, take 5 - 10 tables at once, run their own food and work till 3 am.......only to get $3 - $6 tips on every check and $10 if you're lucky.
Olive Garden only gives you 3 tables, makes you prebus but you can leave drinks, but you're constantly running to make soups and salads by hand with every table, and you're most likely running your food because you only ever have 1 runner on, and they push you to sale, sale, sale, when most people don't go there to spend money. Now your tips can get pretty decent, but getting a tab high and getting a full 20% tip is sometimes a coin flip. But getting $10 - $20 tips is pretty average.
Then I switched to this higher end restaurant, and I don't run my own food, I don't bus my own tables, I legitimately just serve the tables. And the clientele doesn't even really want to talk to you, they just want their stuff and to be left alone. We have 100's of bottles of wine and we sell $200 - $600 bottles all the time. You don't even have to sell them on a product, because they'll just buy it. "Oh would you like to upsell your $10 drink to the $70 version?" "Yeah sure." That easy. People don't even read the checks, they just drop the card. I'm making so much by doing so little. Only thing is they hold their servers to a high standard when it comes to greeting and speaking to guests. Very proper language, you have to be well kept or go home, you have to be on top of all trash, and replace everyone's silverware.
I know this is a bragging post, but honestly it kind of sucks that people have to work 10x hard to make less, while people who are making bank are barely trying. A lot of you guys are probably phenomenal servers and I encourage you guys to try out a high end. Clientele can be a bit snobby, but they're also the people that tip the highest.
I'm hungry, hate breakfast food, and am anxious over my every action.
I have leftovers from yesterday that I want to heat up and eat, but it's like 10:30 a.m., and idk if I would be judged.
Also! For all those who did give genuine help, thank you very much! A lot of you gave some funny answers which cheered me up.
I generally greet the guests and then have my girlfriend entertain them while I cook away (all of her friends are my friends and vice versa). I’d rather have a freshly cooked meal for them even if I have to step away for a bit. I’m huge on mise en place, and that helps to expedite things. Also they can chill in the kitchen with me if they want while I’m cooking too. For a frame of reference, we’re all early 30’s professionals, so it’s a mix of formal and casual for our dinner parties. The food is top notch, but we don’t treat it like a super fancy event- it’s just laughter, games, stories, and some really good food.
I have a go-to pork roast recipe that cooks in my crockpot that I like to make for company. It’s delicious and frees me up so I don’t have to spend too much time in the kitchen before I serve dinner. Like some other posters said, I have some apps ready to go so people can have some nibbles until dinner is ready, usually charcuterie or a cheese ball. Try to do as much beforehand so you can enjoy your company. At the end of the day, enjoying each other’s company is the point of having friends over, so keep it simple!
People can be slightly late because of circumstances beyond their control. Because of this, it's best to have a bit of slop in your schedule. Have some appetizers available upon arrival, but plan on having dinner ready to serve about 30-40 minutes after guests arrive. Just tell your butler to ring his little bell when he's ready to begin seating.
Ask guests if there are any allergies or food they can't eat. The oven is great because it continues cooking while you spend time with your guests. Have the appetizers and drinks ready to go. If you have a salad have it all ready but don't dress it. You do that just before eating. Empty the dishwasher before hand so you have space to put things after the party.
Hi guys, my wife has decided that "tea/dinner time" is between 5-6pm and that is when most people will eat their evening meal . She is now convinced its reasonable to expect people to have already eaten after this point.
For some reason she's convinced that that is the time we normally eat...even though I do all the cooking , and I havnt finished a shift before 6pm for about 6 months.
I suspect, that at least for your average working 40ish yr old,most folk with be eating at least an hour or two later... On average, about what time of the day do you all start cooking dinner and what time does your family eat?
How late do people stay at your house after a dinner party?
My wife and I had friends over for dinner and the visit was great but eventually at 2AM I started doing the dishes because I was tired and wanted to wrap things up. I had offered our spare room if people wanted to stay and it wasn’t clear who would be driving.
You did not want them to stay, so ideally you would have kicked them out sooner. Remarking on how much you enjoyed the company, remarking on morning plans, and cleaning are the main ways you can point people to the door. If they miss the hints, you can explain directly that you have to get to bed and offer to show them to the guest room before you do.
"We've really had a great time with you guys tonight! We should get together soon and do it again" - then stand up! If they still don't get it, ask if they want any leftovers to go? (Even if you don't have any, you can discover that once you've gotten them out of their seats.)
We had a sitter for the kids last night so we ate (at home) and then got out the door to catch a movie as soon as the sitter got here. It was a pretty long movie, so we were both really hungry again afterward. She was craving pizza from one of our favorite local places that was only a 2-3 min walk, so without even realizing what time it was, we started in that direction.
Well, as we came thru the door I could see the place was completely empty. They close at 10 pm and it was 9:51 or something. My wife could see I was wanting to leave but she was being really difficult and I HATE having arguments when we're in public...so I went along with it.
She's done this before at 20-30 mins before closing times, but never this late. All I can say is it made me feel really uncomfortable. I've never been a server but I could tell from their faces that they were really f*ucking annoyed.
And of course, she had to order one of the specialty pizzas with all this extra shit on it. Once the waitress left, I only somewhat jokingly said "They're gonna spit on your pizza." She could sense the sarcasm in my voice and asked what my deal was. I explained to her how I was uncomfortable going into a sit-down restaurant when it's this close to closing time.
She was upset by this and got really defensive and said it's their job to serve customers until the stated closing time. She said if they're open, we should be able to dine there. I tried to explain that the staff probably wants to clean up and go home, and it's just common courtesy not to barge in right at the last minute.
It might just be me but I think hinting at it like this is kind of embarassing. If it were me I would be more like "WELL! It's getting late and I have stuff to do tomorrow so it's time for everyone to fuck off out of it!" (being humorous about it).
When eating at someone else’s house, intentionally take small portions of everything - it is easy to politely finish everything they made for you even if you didn’t like it, and it is flattering to ask for seconds of the things you liked.
When told not to bring anything…
What is the proper etiquette when a hostess/host tells you not to bring anything for a family meal when you offer if you can?
A bit of a backstory here: I was always raised that when invited to a family/friend/special occasion meal, you don’t show up empty handed. I always ask what can I bring, what can I help you with, etc when invited.
My MIL always says, “nothing” which leaves me in an awkward spot because I want to bring something (I enjoy cooking and baking things and sharing with others), but my offering is always turned down.
She’s the only one who ever tells me to bring nothing (except yourselves) and I just do not know how to respond to this.
For parties with a bunch of people, it is fine to show up "fashionably late" and it's not necessary to show up right at 7. 7:15 ish would be fine. The bigger the party, the more lenience there is with arrival time. (Generally speaking.)
We would have parties with about 15-20 people and expected most people to trickle in over the course of the first 30 minutes of the party, with some stragglers coming later than that. It was expected and perfectly fine as everyone was just chatting and drinking. Still, if I were you I'd aim for some time around 7:15 give or take.
If it's just you both and another couple or a very small party, then showing up close to 7 is ideal so they wouldn't be just waiting for you. So if it's less than 8 or so people, I'd show up pretty close to 7. If there's more than that you're fine showing up closer to 7:15 ish. I wouldn't go that much later though since 7 is close to dinner time.
Do you know what kind of party it is? A dinner party? Are you set to eat right at 7? Then get there then no matter the size of the party. I know for most dinner parties I go to there's an hour or so for people to have a drink and chat before dinner is served. In that case it's not as imperative to show up at 7 on the dot. It's important to show up right on time if there's a specific schedule to events, (e.g. a wedding reception, a performance, the start of the show, dinner starting, etc.)
As a Hispanic, I can vouch for this. My family used to comment on how Americans were “rude” (for lack of better words) for showing up on time. Even worse if they were early. But once we started trying to assimilate, we realized how rude we were perceived for showing up so late. In contrast, my friend group is almost obnoxiously punctual, so they expect people to show up right on time, unless you warn them in advance.
The time has probably passed for this question, but for future reference, I’d show up within 15 minutes of the stated time, unless you know them well enough to know they won’t mind you earlier or later! Like you stated, it’s a matter of context!
The OP’s wife is calculating that the party will last until midnight to ring in the new year. If the party starts at 7pm, then the party will last for 5 hours. That’s a long time to be hanging out at someone’s house for a small group gathering. Most events like that wind down after 3 hours.
As an introvert, I love showing up right on time. You get some quality time with the hosts before the other visitors show up and they become too busy entertaining everyone else. Besides that, I like helping out with any leftover preparations.
Really? I find that gatherings with just a few close friends can go all night. Our closest two couple friends are both frequent party hosts and even with larger gatherings the six of us are usually still in the kitchen chatting and drinking at 2am.
I recently started working at a nice high-end restaurant, and it's so much easier than I expected. This restaurant required 5+ years of serving experience from a "respectable" restaurant. Their tabs for 2 people easily hit $150 - $250. I expected this to be a test of my abilities. In reality, it's just serving...without the extra stuff.
A place like Applebees requires their servers to bus their own tables, do a shit ton of side work, take 5 - 10 tables at once, run their own food and work till 3 am.......only to get $3 - $6 tips on every check and $10 if you're lucky.
Olive Garden only gives you 3 tables, makes you prebus but you can leave drinks, but you're constantly running to make soups and salads by hand with every table, and you're most likely running your food because you only ever have 1 runner on, and they push you to sale, sale, sale, when most people don't go there to spend money. Now your tips can get pretty decent, but getting a tab high and getting a full 20% tip is sometimes a coin flip. But getting $10 - $20 tips is pretty average.
Then I switched to this higher end restaurant, and I don't run my own food, I don't bus my own tables, I legitimately just serve the tables. And the clientele doesn't even really want to talk to you, they just want their stuff and to be left alone. We have 100's of bottles of wine and we sell $200 - $600 bottles all the time. You don't even have to sell them on a product, because they'll just buy it. "Oh would you like to upsell your $10 drink to the $70 version?" "Yeah sure." That easy. People don't even read the checks, they just drop the card. I'm making so much by doing so little. Only thing is they hold their servers to a high standard when it comes to greeting and speaking to guests. Very proper language, you have to be well kept or go home, you have to be on top of all trash, and replace everyone's silverware.
I know this is a bragging post, but honestly it kind of sucks that people have to work 10x hard to make less, while people who are making bank are barely trying. A lot of you guys are probably phenomenal servers and I encourage you guys to try out a high end. Clientele can be a bit snobby, but they're also the people that tip the highest.
I'm hungry, hate breakfast food, and am anxious over my every action.
I have leftovers from yesterday that I want to heat up and eat, but it's like 10:30 a.m., and idk if I would be judged.
Also! For all those who did give genuine help, thank you very much! A lot of you gave some funny answers which cheered me up.
I generally greet the guests and then have my girlfriend entertain them while I cook away (all of her friends are my friends and vice versa). I’d rather have a freshly cooked meal for them even if I have to step away for a bit. I’m huge on mise en place, and that helps to expedite things. Also they can chill in the kitchen with me if they want while I’m cooking too. For a frame of reference, we’re all early 30’s professionals, so it’s a mix of formal and casual for our dinner parties. The food is top notch, but we don’t treat it like a super fancy event- it’s just laughter, games, stories, and some really good food.
I have a go-to pork roast recipe that cooks in my crockpot that I like to make for company. It’s delicious and frees me up so I don’t have to spend too much time in the kitchen before I serve dinner. Like some other posters said, I have some apps ready to go so people can have some nibbles until dinner is ready, usually charcuterie or a cheese ball. Try to do as much beforehand so you can enjoy your company. At the end of the day, enjoying each other’s company is the point of having friends over, so keep it simple!
People can be slightly late because of circumstances beyond their control. Because of this, it's best to have a bit of slop in your schedule. Have some appetizers available upon arrival, but plan on having dinner ready to serve about 30-40 minutes after guests arrive. Just tell your butler to ring his little bell when he's ready to begin seating.
Ask guests if there are any allergies or food they can't eat. The oven is great because it continues cooking while you spend time with your guests. Have the appetizers and drinks ready to go. If you have a salad have it all ready but don't dress it. You do that just before eating. Empty the dishwasher before hand so you have space to put things after the party.
