How do you make your life more exciting?
So a little background on me. I'm in my late twenties and a pretty normal guy. I don't have a lot of trouble talking to strangers, I can be quite funny and entertaining at times, and generally I find myself to be a pretty likable person, so this isn't a case of a shy guy wanting to break out of his shell. However, as far as my social circle goes, I've always been a "follower". I have a small group of good friends and usually if I'm ever doing any kind of social activity, it's usually something they suggested.
These days I'm finding myself bored. I basically only hang out with any one of three of the same people all the time (we're all in the same social circle, more or less), and two of them are now in pretty serious relationships so they're often doing things with their SO. The other guy is a bit of a pothead and doesn't often have a better idea for fun than to go to his house to drink/smoke or go to one of the local dive bars that we've both been to dozens of times and really don't enjoy all that much anymore. I'd like to have a more exciting life. Going to the same bars, hanging out with the same people, really isn't doing it for me anymore. I want to try new things, meet new and interesting people, expand my circle of friends, etc. My problem is, I really don't know how to go about doing that. I look up community events in the local paper or online and most of the events are more family-oriented kind of events that likely won't draw a lot of people my age. Furthermore, making new friends has been difficult as I'll make acquaintance with somebody, but never really hang out with them, because I have nothing fun or interesting to invite them to. Yes, this is very helpful and I can't believe I didn't think of it a few minutes ago. Set weekly/monthly/yearly goals for anything you're doing and work to accomplish them. Set goals for something difficult to learn and work to learn it. Find something you love doing, whether it's work or a hobby, and actually do it. It's okay to sit in front of a monitor all day, but don't do it all day every day. Get out and do things, anything, with yourself and with other people.
Does anyone ever feel completely bored of life - the same routine, same job, same things over and over?
I’ve got things that should be exciting in my life - it’s ‘summer’ (terrible British weather though), I’ve got some trips planned, I have a gym membership, etc. but none of it is exciting, it’s just boring. What do you do to make your life more exciting during routine and mundane times?
How did life get better for you?
20, alone, constantly rejected by girls and have absolutely no idea what to do with the rest of life.
Not having anyone to hang out with leaves you with a lot of free time and I used that time to study, get a good job, get a comfortable life and with it started doing activities which required me to interact with other people (circus classes, theater classes, martial arts, ...) which made me get some friends (both from work and hobbies). A lot of them I have close to no contact now a days but the ones who stayed are well worth it and I'm so happy and lucky to have them around. Having someone to talk to when you're feeling down is a fucking big relief, even when they have nothing to do or say that could help.
Like other people are saying. Focus on an interest. I got really involved with a student group that is oriented around building cool projects. I enjoy just working with my hands on a project for a few hours when I'm stressed out with classes. I've made a lot of great friends in the group, including my girlfriend. It's nice to have such a strong shared interest. Right now school related stress is at an all time high, yet I'm still happy thanks primarily to the people around me. Being alone does not define you. Try out a bunch of different activities, and find out what does define you. Chances are, you will someday realize you are no longer alone.
Your self is one of your biggest enemies in life. It makes you worried about things out of your control. It makes you feel lazy and unmotivated. It makes you concerned about what other people think of you.
But when you have a goal in mind, you can take your mind off of what your self tells you. For me, I decided to become a more awesome person.
What's my definition of awesome? I wanted to be someone who can enjoy what I do. Someone who strives to create interesting things out of the mundane. And as a side effect? People noticed me and I had more things to talk about to them.
I was in a similar situation to yours. Trying to find relationships with girls but having no success. Not sure of my future after college.
But I decided one day just to enjoy what I have and improve on what I can. I made strange things out of tape. I became better at cooking. I enjoyed hanging out with others without the nagging feeling that I needed to start a relationship with them.
And you know what? All these things was the reason why my fiance first noticed me cooking with a really short apron at a friend's place for his housewarming party.
The thing is, relationships require work on both ends. If you're not a person who can live life on their own, then other girls wouldn't want you to drag down their lives so you can have your own fulfilled life. You need to have something to contribute. You need to make sure that when you have a relationship, you're enhancing both your life and hers. Be awesome my friend. You'll stumble and fail so many times but learn from your mistakes. Break up your goals into manageable steps. And keep going. You have an unknown but exciting future ahead of you!
I dropped everything and travelled. It got me out of my routine and allowed me to see that there are many more amazing things out there beyond what my immediate group of friends was exposed to.
Since returning, I have found new music that I like and excites me. I have turned my passion into my career. I have continued to learn new hobbies one of which I have turned into a leisurely side business. I meet people based on common interests vs. proximity. That helps a lot. Figure out what you really care about and build a dream. It can be little or big or mediocre. It doesn't matter, you'll never reach it. Strive for it anyway, you'll find your real life along the way and with a LOT of effort and luck you can make it better than any dream.
Because when you're young, you lack the ability to process risk the same way you do once you mature a bit, and this allows you to engage in high risk / high reward behavior that ideally will produce offspring and successful businesses to take care of you in your old age, but this behavior may also result in crippling debt, STDs, child support, and the other consequences of risky behavior.
Once you get a little older, you don't have quite the same level of enthusiasm for risk-seeking, but you have a lot more experience and common sense.
This doesn't mean life is less fun, but not everything needs to be an EXTREMETM activity anymore. You can enjoy things as they are, without needing to make each one an epochal moment. Excitement's always available when you want it though.
What are simple ways to make day to day life happier?
These days I'm finding myself bored. I basically only hang out with any one of three of the same people all the time (we're all in the same social circle, more or less), and two of them are now in pretty serious relationships so they're often doing things with their SO. The other guy is a bit of a pothead and doesn't often have a better idea for fun than to go to his house to drink/smoke or go to one of the local dive bars that we've both been to dozens of times and really don't enjoy all that much anymore. I'd like to have a more exciting life. Going to the same bars, hanging out with the same people, really isn't doing it for me anymore. I want to try new things, meet new and interesting people, expand my circle of friends, etc. My problem is, I really don't know how to go about doing that. I look up community events in the local paper or online and most of the events are more family-oriented kind of events that likely won't draw a lot of people my age. Furthermore, making new friends has been difficult as I'll make acquaintance with somebody, but never really hang out with them, because I have nothing fun or interesting to invite them to. Yes, this is very helpful and I can't believe I didn't think of it a few minutes ago. Set weekly/monthly/yearly goals for anything you're doing and work to accomplish them. Set goals for something difficult to learn and work to learn it. Find something you love doing, whether it's work or a hobby, and actually do it. It's okay to sit in front of a monitor all day, but don't do it all day every day. Get out and do things, anything, with yourself and with other people.
Does anyone ever feel completely bored of life - the same routine, same job, same things over and over?
I’ve got things that should be exciting in my life - it’s ‘summer’ (terrible British weather though), I’ve got some trips planned, I have a gym membership, etc. but none of it is exciting, it’s just boring. What do you do to make your life more exciting during routine and mundane times?
How did life get better for you?
20, alone, constantly rejected by girls and have absolutely no idea what to do with the rest of life.
Not having anyone to hang out with leaves you with a lot of free time and I used that time to study, get a good job, get a comfortable life and with it started doing activities which required me to interact with other people (circus classes, theater classes, martial arts, ...) which made me get some friends (both from work and hobbies). A lot of them I have close to no contact now a days but the ones who stayed are well worth it and I'm so happy and lucky to have them around. Having someone to talk to when you're feeling down is a fucking big relief, even when they have nothing to do or say that could help.
Like other people are saying. Focus on an interest. I got really involved with a student group that is oriented around building cool projects. I enjoy just working with my hands on a project for a few hours when I'm stressed out with classes. I've made a lot of great friends in the group, including my girlfriend. It's nice to have such a strong shared interest. Right now school related stress is at an all time high, yet I'm still happy thanks primarily to the people around me. Being alone does not define you. Try out a bunch of different activities, and find out what does define you. Chances are, you will someday realize you are no longer alone.
Your self is one of your biggest enemies in life. It makes you worried about things out of your control. It makes you feel lazy and unmotivated. It makes you concerned about what other people think of you.
But when you have a goal in mind, you can take your mind off of what your self tells you. For me, I decided to become a more awesome person.
What's my definition of awesome? I wanted to be someone who can enjoy what I do. Someone who strives to create interesting things out of the mundane. And as a side effect? People noticed me and I had more things to talk about to them.
I was in a similar situation to yours. Trying to find relationships with girls but having no success. Not sure of my future after college.
But I decided one day just to enjoy what I have and improve on what I can. I made strange things out of tape. I became better at cooking. I enjoyed hanging out with others without the nagging feeling that I needed to start a relationship with them.
And you know what? All these things was the reason why my fiance first noticed me cooking with a really short apron at a friend's place for his housewarming party.
The thing is, relationships require work on both ends. If you're not a person who can live life on their own, then other girls wouldn't want you to drag down their lives so you can have your own fulfilled life. You need to have something to contribute. You need to make sure that when you have a relationship, you're enhancing both your life and hers. Be awesome my friend. You'll stumble and fail so many times but learn from your mistakes. Break up your goals into manageable steps. And keep going. You have an unknown but exciting future ahead of you!
I dropped everything and travelled. It got me out of my routine and allowed me to see that there are many more amazing things out there beyond what my immediate group of friends was exposed to.
Since returning, I have found new music that I like and excites me. I have turned my passion into my career. I have continued to learn new hobbies one of which I have turned into a leisurely side business. I meet people based on common interests vs. proximity. That helps a lot. Figure out what you really care about and build a dream. It can be little or big or mediocre. It doesn't matter, you'll never reach it. Strive for it anyway, you'll find your real life along the way and with a LOT of effort and luck you can make it better than any dream.
Because when you're young, you lack the ability to process risk the same way you do once you mature a bit, and this allows you to engage in high risk / high reward behavior that ideally will produce offspring and successful businesses to take care of you in your old age, but this behavior may also result in crippling debt, STDs, child support, and the other consequences of risky behavior.
Once you get a little older, you don't have quite the same level of enthusiasm for risk-seeking, but you have a lot more experience and common sense.
This doesn't mean life is less fun, but not everything needs to be an EXTREMETM activity anymore. You can enjoy things as they are, without needing to make each one an epochal moment. Excitement's always available when you want it though.
What are simple ways to make day to day life happier?
