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What are you looking for in a significant other?

What nonphysical qualities do you look for in a partner? What are the 5 most important qualities you look for in a partner?
I was talking to my therapist the other day and she encouraged me to write down all of the things I want in a partner and then to prioritize the top 5. These top 5 traits are your deal breakers, if a potential partner does not show you those 5 traits, it is not a match. I found this particularly insightful advice to prevent you from compromising your values the minute someone new and shiny walks into your life. It is being really clear to yourself about what you want and what is right for you vs. what feels good and what is right now.
She used a particular analogy that really stuck with me. What happens when I go to the grocery store with out a list? I end up with a bunch of stuff I didn't particularly need and then I get home and start cooking and realize I forgot to buy a crucial ingredient.
I am still working on my list, but I wanted to hear from yall: what are your most important qualities in a partner (bonus for why)? (Some examples she gave me to get me started were honesty, ambition, sexual compatibility, faith, sense of humor ect.) What do you look for in an SO that you want to spend the rest of your life with?
What do you look for in a partner? What do you want out of a relationship?
What are the most important qualities and things do you look for in a relationship? What do you look for in a partner?
How long does it take you to know if your partner and your relationship with your partner is long-term worthy? What are shared values and goals you look for in a relationship?
By now I feel like we’ve all read that shared values and goals are what’s important to making a relationship last. However, it’s way easier to query about stuff that isn’t as important, like shared hobbies!
When I look up examples of shared values, I see things like “companionship” and “respect” which is confusing to me, both because there seems to be a clear right answer and wrong answer (rather than a right fit answer), and because I struggle to understand how to look for it.
What do you look for in terms of shared values and goals? How do you look for it?
Sequoia51 · 70-79, M
Intelligence and Sexuality

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