How often do you plan out or throw out surprise birthdays parties?

Surprise parties! Have you ever been apart of one, or been the one being surprised? How was it?
I've only ever really seen these in TV shows, tbh; so now I'm all curious about how they've worked out...or not worked out. TV just tells me they never work out to make for some weird situations. Just thinking since my birthday is almost 2 months away, I'm always trying to sort out surprise parties for others, but nobody throws them for me. Might be because it's in February and it's a stressful time of year with deadlines to finish and all that. Plus I usually end up organizing my own birthday parties anyway. I was just wondering is this an ENFP thing? Or should I like not make plans on my birthday and hope someone surprises me? It would be nice like, but not sure if it'll ever happen. For my wife's surprise party, she thought we were on our way to an art opening. She dressed very nicely, and later told me that she was very happy that she'd dressed up. There are probably people out there who wanted a surprise party for their birthday their whole life and never got one. If they asked it wouldn’t be a surprise. My argument is that there is room for so much to go wrong, that I can't understand why anyone thinks that a surprise party is a good idea, unless the person specifically asks for one... in which case it's not really a surprise anymore.
Here's some of the thoughts that I've had during my own surprise parties, and some that I've been a part of:
I've always felt like the excitement leading up to an event always adds to the fun. It makes the days leading up to the party more cheery/positive, and just feels nice. A surprise party takes that away
A surprise party is built on the backs of lies. Multiple lies. By multiple people who are close to the person as well. Sometimes this even ends up hurting the person before the party cause they'll be asking their closest friends/family to come hangout with them, and everyone will reject (cause they'll be part of the surprise). But imagine how it feels like for the person at the time.
I'd like to be prepared for what I'm going to do at MY party. Whether it's pictures being taken, or an outdoor party, meeting a childhood hero, or doing some activity that would've been more comfortable in different attire that I literally have at home. Planned parties allow for this, whereas surprise parties are filled with "oh i wish I brought this, or I wish I wore this".
Not everyone wants a surprise party, but that's usually not discussed with the person and they end up being miserable the whole time.
Lastly, surprise parties get no input from the person that matters the most. The guests, activities, location, timing... everything is planned by others. If they judge wrong, the 'star of the show' is basically forced to do activities they didn't want to do, with people they didn't want to see, at a time that doesn't work for them, eat food they don't like, and wearing clothes that aren't appropriate for the party. Nothing about this seems nice.
Don't get me wrong here. Surprises are different. You can have a planned party, but give the person a small surprise gift, and that has the potential to go wonderfully. However, the idea of having a whole secret event, all so that you and 30 random people can hide in awkward positions in some dark room, and yell surprise in an unsynchronized manner... yea I can't see how often that will go well. Basically, my partner (39M) is turning 40 in a couple of weeks. Where we are from it is customary to throw a surprise birthday party on such big birthdays, and the partners organize it.
He is the oldest in his group of friends, so this one is the first one we are celebrating and I don’t know what is expected. Also, the “issue” is that I (26F) have never thrown a big party before, let alone a 40th Birthday, so I don’t know much in terms of what to do and how much it will cost and if it is too much how I am going to pay for it. (I am a university student and I get the odd job every now and then but all I earn goes basically to pay bills, food, etc.).
I have created a WhatApp group, and I have set the date. All his friends are very supportive and nice, I have already asked questions about the place and food, and they have helped me find the best and most inexpensive options. I have a place on mind that you can rent the whole day for 350€ (there is no other place we can use for free because it will be at the end of the month and it is freezing cold outside, so no park or public spaces. Honestly, it is the cheapest place we could find. I will be paying for that, because I don’t think it would be fair to share the expense with everyone).
As soon as I have the list of people attending, I will order the food, and I will be buying the drinks the week before and cooling them from the previous day. I am from Spain so I will be ordering paella for lunch, and I will be preparing myself (if I can hide them from him) some antipasti like cheese, cold cuts, and salads to cut costs. Because it will be lunch with party afterwards, I thought maybe I should buy some food for later in the evening.
Here when doing such parties, it is usual to ask people for money so they pay for their food (it would be around 8€/person), but do you think I can ask people for 15-20€ to help pay the drinks and snacks? I don’t know how many people will attend, but I certainly know I can’t afford 600€.
Do you have any ideas on what to do to keep costs down? I will be DIYing as much as I can. Do you think that 15-20€ is a reasonable amount to ask for? Do you have any recommendations? Something that I might be missing? The longer story - My wife is pretty terrible at keeping secrets from me. This year is my 30th (fuck all) and I've been tipped off that something is going down on the night of Oct 23rd.
We're actually the younger couple in our group of friends and as such I've been to quite a few surprise parties and to be honest... they're fucking boring. I've even told my wife I really didn't want a surprise party, but she's never been one to be too original.
No I don't know the exact details of what we're doing. I know we're going out for dinner, after that is a bit of a mystery.
I'm a prankster at heart and I've got an opportunity to spice this year up a bit. So lets hear it.