What's your reason for being kind?
What can I do to be a kinder person? "Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - Socratic
False or Suspect Attribution
Sometimes we tend to think that only we have problems and everyone should behave well with us.
But we often forget that everyone in this world has problems, and never say to someone that your problem it's nothing compared to my problem. Maybe you are now on level 10 and they are on level 1, remember that once you were on that level too. Even if you are on the same level, again it's not the same, everyone experiences things differently. So, be a good listener, listen and care for them, and the most important, BE KIND. Be kind to everyone, not just to the people you care about, because one good word can change someone's day. Little by little, you see the world smile. Did you say today something kind to a human being? Personally feel like this is a narrow minded view and the exact type of view OP is trying to refute. Just cause on the outside Elon seems to have life made for himself, we have no idea what goes on in his personal or work life really. He has two kids, a gf/wife thing, and a Fortune 500 company. Even with all the money in the world he is probably still fighting tough battles, and the way someone experiences those battles is different from person to person.
I wasn’t suggesting they were. But with his money, he doesn’t need to work 100 hours a week (assuming that’s even true). He could retire now and never work again. I don’t have that option, but I guarantee you I would be a lot less stressed, anxious, depressed and powerless if I had even a fraction of his money. That would objectively make the battle easier.
I would say they are. I remember an interview where Elon said he worked like 100 hours a week and slept on a couch in his office. And they have the eyes of the world on them all the time, being judged and ridiculed for everything. They aren’t god, no matter the money. They are still just men.
Even if that's of course not always a good advice, I think that being kind with someone that isn't is something that we should do more often. Some people are mean because they want to have control over other people, and showing them that it doesn't affect you and giving them the opportunity to change their behavior without losing their pride is something I've seen working a lot of times.
I'll buy that imprisonment is unkindness. And I do think it's necessary to isolate dangerous people in order to protect the general welfare, so in that way, yes, sometimes you've got to be unkind. But I think we (the law-abiding society that imprisons murderers) would be better as a whole if we strive to be as kind as possible, even to murderers who would be unkind to us. Even to people who are completely devoid of empathy and are unable to appreciate that kindness. Because when we excuse unkindness as a form of justice (which is what vengeance is) it warps unkindness into something that looks desirable, and I think that view is extremely dangerous to society and the people in it, murderers and law-abiders alike.
You may be right but in my opinion I believe you're wrong. My parents were abusive. Being kind to them made me depressed. It ruined me. It made me feel like shit. My life was not the one I took care of. It was theirs. I was kind to these unkind people and it ate away at me. I suffered because of it. Once I realised I had to stop being nice to the people making me feel like shit everything started to change. I became happy. Confidence was restored. Enjoyment of life was found. I discovered how to love myself. All I had to do was stop being kind to these unkind people. To ignore them and treat them like shit because that's what they are. Being kind to everyone will destroy a person because of the sacrifice they need to make to their own happiness to do that. I'm not saying go out looking for unkind people to be unkind to, it is better to avoid them. If they confront you with their unkindness though, I say feel free to treat them how they deserve to be treated.
I basically agree that unkind people probably do need the most kindness b/c their childhood lack of kindness is now being projected outward onto others. I disagree that the onus is on us, the kind in this scenario, to give that person the kindness they need. Mostly b/c this action doesn't help the unkind person to become less unkind and they could just as easily interpret is as weakness or manipulation b/c they are by definition unkind and view actions with suspicion. Your personality/disposition is like clay that gets molded by your environment but eventually that clay gets sort of "baked" into a hard-ish substance that represents your adult personality. Sometimes that clay can be changed, most of the time not.
Be kind to people. You never know how it can be returned.
9 years ago, I was really going through a tough time. My girlfriend at the time was abusive, and I finally had enough. Breaking up with her was hard: I was depressed, broken mentally, and my own family even blamed me (at first). A guy I picked up weed from time to time really went to bat for me. He was super nice, smoked me out a few times (I personally was never super into it, more my ex's thing), and just kinda there for me. We stayed friends on Facebook. A couple months back, he started asking me for advice on IT jobs, he just graduated from the same school as me...I helped him out as best I could. I was low-key interviewing him the whole time. We didn't have any openings at the time, but I told my manager when we did, we need to hire this guy. Took a few months, but as soon as we had an opening, I let him know, and now he's hired at the best company I've ever worked for. Those acts of kindness have been returned tenfold, and he doesn't even know. That's just the kind of guy he is. He thinks I'm the one being nice! I'm just incredibly happy that I can do something nice for him for once. He truly deserves it.
I’ve met my best friend in college few years ago, my now husband through our mutual friends. Some through friends of friends of people from work or school. I think if you’re stuck with people somewhere like at work you get some kind of connection with them, sometimes you meet their friends and it turns out you have so much in common.
Honestly, anywhere. Just go somewhere where everyone has a similar goal. You instantly have something in common and to talk about. Bonus points if you have another thing in common, you might have just made a friend.
Great question, thanks for asking. My wife gets mad at me for not being mean enough. But it got me her, her friend told her about me and describe me as the nicest guy you’ll ever meet. I think it gets me positive interactions in public, people will do things for you if you’re kind and courteous, that they won’t if your grumpy, mean, or rude. I see people who aren’t nice and they look unhappy. Thank you, please, and much appreciated go a long way.
It makes me happy seeing other people happy! So if I do something kind, and it’s doesn’t need to be something big, and I see their day has been just a tiiiiiny bit better - I’m useful in the world. My friend was struggling with her poorly little one yesterday so I sent her a Starbucks coffee to her house. She felt good, I felt good - happy days!
Being kind benefits me by allowing others to meet me where they are at in their lives & I can tell it helps because no one should have to deal with your own personal attitude issues. It's been tough lately but I am always self reflecting & refining my kindness. It's worth more than gold.
Kind hearted people, how do you stay so full of love?
False or Suspect Attribution
Sometimes we tend to think that only we have problems and everyone should behave well with us.
But we often forget that everyone in this world has problems, and never say to someone that your problem it's nothing compared to my problem. Maybe you are now on level 10 and they are on level 1, remember that once you were on that level too. Even if you are on the same level, again it's not the same, everyone experiences things differently. So, be a good listener, listen and care for them, and the most important, BE KIND. Be kind to everyone, not just to the people you care about, because one good word can change someone's day. Little by little, you see the world smile. Did you say today something kind to a human being? Personally feel like this is a narrow minded view and the exact type of view OP is trying to refute. Just cause on the outside Elon seems to have life made for himself, we have no idea what goes on in his personal or work life really. He has two kids, a gf/wife thing, and a Fortune 500 company. Even with all the money in the world he is probably still fighting tough battles, and the way someone experiences those battles is different from person to person.
I wasn’t suggesting they were. But with his money, he doesn’t need to work 100 hours a week (assuming that’s even true). He could retire now and never work again. I don’t have that option, but I guarantee you I would be a lot less stressed, anxious, depressed and powerless if I had even a fraction of his money. That would objectively make the battle easier.
I would say they are. I remember an interview where Elon said he worked like 100 hours a week and slept on a couch in his office. And they have the eyes of the world on them all the time, being judged and ridiculed for everything. They aren’t god, no matter the money. They are still just men.
Even if that's of course not always a good advice, I think that being kind with someone that isn't is something that we should do more often. Some people are mean because they want to have control over other people, and showing them that it doesn't affect you and giving them the opportunity to change their behavior without losing their pride is something I've seen working a lot of times.
I'll buy that imprisonment is unkindness. And I do think it's necessary to isolate dangerous people in order to protect the general welfare, so in that way, yes, sometimes you've got to be unkind. But I think we (the law-abiding society that imprisons murderers) would be better as a whole if we strive to be as kind as possible, even to murderers who would be unkind to us. Even to people who are completely devoid of empathy and are unable to appreciate that kindness. Because when we excuse unkindness as a form of justice (which is what vengeance is) it warps unkindness into something that looks desirable, and I think that view is extremely dangerous to society and the people in it, murderers and law-abiders alike.
You may be right but in my opinion I believe you're wrong. My parents were abusive. Being kind to them made me depressed. It ruined me. It made me feel like shit. My life was not the one I took care of. It was theirs. I was kind to these unkind people and it ate away at me. I suffered because of it. Once I realised I had to stop being nice to the people making me feel like shit everything started to change. I became happy. Confidence was restored. Enjoyment of life was found. I discovered how to love myself. All I had to do was stop being kind to these unkind people. To ignore them and treat them like shit because that's what they are. Being kind to everyone will destroy a person because of the sacrifice they need to make to their own happiness to do that. I'm not saying go out looking for unkind people to be unkind to, it is better to avoid them. If they confront you with their unkindness though, I say feel free to treat them how they deserve to be treated.
I basically agree that unkind people probably do need the most kindness b/c their childhood lack of kindness is now being projected outward onto others. I disagree that the onus is on us, the kind in this scenario, to give that person the kindness they need. Mostly b/c this action doesn't help the unkind person to become less unkind and they could just as easily interpret is as weakness or manipulation b/c they are by definition unkind and view actions with suspicion. Your personality/disposition is like clay that gets molded by your environment but eventually that clay gets sort of "baked" into a hard-ish substance that represents your adult personality. Sometimes that clay can be changed, most of the time not.
Be kind to people. You never know how it can be returned.
9 years ago, I was really going through a tough time. My girlfriend at the time was abusive, and I finally had enough. Breaking up with her was hard: I was depressed, broken mentally, and my own family even blamed me (at first). A guy I picked up weed from time to time really went to bat for me. He was super nice, smoked me out a few times (I personally was never super into it, more my ex's thing), and just kinda there for me. We stayed friends on Facebook. A couple months back, he started asking me for advice on IT jobs, he just graduated from the same school as me...I helped him out as best I could. I was low-key interviewing him the whole time. We didn't have any openings at the time, but I told my manager when we did, we need to hire this guy. Took a few months, but as soon as we had an opening, I let him know, and now he's hired at the best company I've ever worked for. Those acts of kindness have been returned tenfold, and he doesn't even know. That's just the kind of guy he is. He thinks I'm the one being nice! I'm just incredibly happy that I can do something nice for him for once. He truly deserves it.
I’ve met my best friend in college few years ago, my now husband through our mutual friends. Some through friends of friends of people from work or school. I think if you’re stuck with people somewhere like at work you get some kind of connection with them, sometimes you meet their friends and it turns out you have so much in common.
Honestly, anywhere. Just go somewhere where everyone has a similar goal. You instantly have something in common and to talk about. Bonus points if you have another thing in common, you might have just made a friend.
Great question, thanks for asking. My wife gets mad at me for not being mean enough. But it got me her, her friend told her about me and describe me as the nicest guy you’ll ever meet. I think it gets me positive interactions in public, people will do things for you if you’re kind and courteous, that they won’t if your grumpy, mean, or rude. I see people who aren’t nice and they look unhappy. Thank you, please, and much appreciated go a long way.
It makes me happy seeing other people happy! So if I do something kind, and it’s doesn’t need to be something big, and I see their day has been just a tiiiiiny bit better - I’m useful in the world. My friend was struggling with her poorly little one yesterday so I sent her a Starbucks coffee to her house. She felt good, I felt good - happy days!
Being kind benefits me by allowing others to meet me where they are at in their lives & I can tell it helps because no one should have to deal with your own personal attitude issues. It's been tough lately but I am always self reflecting & refining my kindness. It's worth more than gold.
Kind hearted people, how do you stay so full of love?
