Who's the person in your inner circle who always finds fault with you and has always something bad to say about you always making hurtful remarks?
Anyone feel like the 'unimportant friend'? Maybe it's just me but in my friend group, I feel like I'm truly the one that gets appreciated/checked on the least. I try my best to socialize but I feel like it's not doing anything? I do so much for my friends, but I get nothing when I need them most. Anyone else? So before I made my original post, I already had plans with a mixed group including M28. Before I dive in I just want to thank everyone that shared their experiences with ill-informed therapy, social anxiety, boundaries, and struggles similar to mine. I wish I was in a place where I could trust my gut without other input, but at least there are kind encouraging people out there. So unfortunately the other people canceled (it was not on purpose, just things fell apart on their end) and I ended up being alone with M28. It was okay. Later on in the day some of the others did show up, and we were playing around with those TikTok tarot readings just being silly. Well when it was my turn, the video that came up (of COURSE) was all about love and romance and I was like “ugh no way, this makes me want to gag”. M28 immediately burst into tears in front of everyone because “I wish you had said that the other night, that I make you want to gag”. To be fair, there were some shots of alcohol involved before this. But still.
I generally had a good day and wanted to keep the vibe so I basically had to talk him down (also in front of everyone) and then once everyone left, he pulled me aside (shocker, huh) and I had to reiterate AGAIN that the stupid TikTok thing is literally just TikTok, my reaction was NOT about him, and had to defend my entire position in life AGAIN. Then he asked if he could prove himself to no longer make a scene by helping me study for university. I said I wasn’t sure but obviously I’m not going to do that. It’s hard enough to focus on school without a weepy baby having tantrums next to me and probably checking me out when I’m not looking.
So, it’s sad and it sucks because I have to change my whole shit now, but I managed to find some other volunteer shifts that work with my schedule but it’s cutting down to one day a week. I told the coordinator why and that I would like my new schedule to be private if possible and they agreed to take me off the email list and just know when I’m coming in. I feel bad complicating her job and also ditching the other volunteers but at least I still get to see the animals I’ve grown warm to.
I alluded to this being a pattern in my life in my previous post and comments, but truly this guy takes the cake. He really believes that every single thing I have to say revolves around HIM, like he takes up space in my head. Well, he does, in a negative way. This week things seriously escalated on his end and I’m already tired of it. Surprise, M28, I’ve actually lived an entire life without you and I will continue to do so. Sorry you’re so insecure that your life can be totally encompassed by someone else this easily. It’s sad but I doubt he will change. The tactic of “cry then guilt into more of what I want” is super easy to do. He sees every activity I do alone, joyfully, as an opportunity to commandeer that time and make it about him. I was nervous at first he’d end up seeing this, I think he uses Reddit as well, but tbh I don’t care anymore. If he does see this, maybe seeing my side (because clearly he canNOT listen) might shock him into acting like a normal adult person. I want to start by emphasizing that I am not unloved by family, friends, etc. And I am very aware that I have people in my life who truly care about me. But I find myself in a position of a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th tier friend to people whom I might hold in higher regard. I realize that’s no one’s issue but my own. But it makes me sad to realize that I’m rarely considered for outings/Group Excursions and such. If I am, it’s because the original choice fell through. To some degree, I don’t mind, because I know the overall consensus is that I am a chill person, whom people enjoy being around. But at times I wish I meant a little more to someone. It’s not like I don’t try to create deeper connections, but maybe this is my destiny as a platonic/romantic companion. Oh well! If you regularly lie to people or exaggerate events, and no one has confronted you, your friends are likely aware of you lying, but choose to stay quiet
Relationships
A few times I’ve seen people on Reddit state different varieties of something like “I lie about little things here and there, but no one knows”, which is rarely true. Most of the time, the friend group is very aware of someone lying on a regular basis, but they choose to not confront it either out of apathy, or - more often - to not cause the liar embarrassment. Have you ever felt left out of a friend group, but your still a part of it? (They treat you like your part of it, but they do stuff without you, etc.) If so, what did you do?
I generally had a good day and wanted to keep the vibe so I basically had to talk him down (also in front of everyone) and then once everyone left, he pulled me aside (shocker, huh) and I had to reiterate AGAIN that the stupid TikTok thing is literally just TikTok, my reaction was NOT about him, and had to defend my entire position in life AGAIN. Then he asked if he could prove himself to no longer make a scene by helping me study for university. I said I wasn’t sure but obviously I’m not going to do that. It’s hard enough to focus on school without a weepy baby having tantrums next to me and probably checking me out when I’m not looking.
So, it’s sad and it sucks because I have to change my whole shit now, but I managed to find some other volunteer shifts that work with my schedule but it’s cutting down to one day a week. I told the coordinator why and that I would like my new schedule to be private if possible and they agreed to take me off the email list and just know when I’m coming in. I feel bad complicating her job and also ditching the other volunteers but at least I still get to see the animals I’ve grown warm to.
I alluded to this being a pattern in my life in my previous post and comments, but truly this guy takes the cake. He really believes that every single thing I have to say revolves around HIM, like he takes up space in my head. Well, he does, in a negative way. This week things seriously escalated on his end and I’m already tired of it. Surprise, M28, I’ve actually lived an entire life without you and I will continue to do so. Sorry you’re so insecure that your life can be totally encompassed by someone else this easily. It’s sad but I doubt he will change. The tactic of “cry then guilt into more of what I want” is super easy to do. He sees every activity I do alone, joyfully, as an opportunity to commandeer that time and make it about him. I was nervous at first he’d end up seeing this, I think he uses Reddit as well, but tbh I don’t care anymore. If he does see this, maybe seeing my side (because clearly he canNOT listen) might shock him into acting like a normal adult person. I want to start by emphasizing that I am not unloved by family, friends, etc. And I am very aware that I have people in my life who truly care about me. But I find myself in a position of a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th tier friend to people whom I might hold in higher regard. I realize that’s no one’s issue but my own. But it makes me sad to realize that I’m rarely considered for outings/Group Excursions and such. If I am, it’s because the original choice fell through. To some degree, I don’t mind, because I know the overall consensus is that I am a chill person, whom people enjoy being around. But at times I wish I meant a little more to someone. It’s not like I don’t try to create deeper connections, but maybe this is my destiny as a platonic/romantic companion. Oh well! If you regularly lie to people or exaggerate events, and no one has confronted you, your friends are likely aware of you lying, but choose to stay quiet
Relationships
A few times I’ve seen people on Reddit state different varieties of something like “I lie about little things here and there, but no one knows”, which is rarely true. Most of the time, the friend group is very aware of someone lying on a regular basis, but they choose to not confront it either out of apathy, or - more often - to not cause the liar embarrassment. Have you ever felt left out of a friend group, but your still a part of it? (They treat you like your part of it, but they do stuff without you, etc.) If so, what did you do?
